Women are Crazy, Men are Stupid--Katsura Kotarou x Reader (Gintama)

Chapter 6

It was the day of a strategy meeting. As usual, the topic had drifted from war to dramas and idols, and (F/N) brought them back to earth with a threat of seppuku that would have made Hijikata proud.

As things settled down, Katsura finally began to speak.

"Next week, we make our final move against the shogunate."

(F/N) froze. This was what she had been waiting for.

"I recently procured this," he set a vial on the tatami mat in front of him. "A few drops in the castle's water supply, and everyone will fall asleep. They will not wake up again for the next twenty-four hours."

(F/N) gasped. "Is that even possible?"

He met her gaze. For a moment, he appeared distracted, then he cleared his throat.

"It is very possible," he answered. "Next Friday, we make our move. I'll need a small team to sneak into the castle and contaminate the supply. Do I have any volunteers?"

There was a barrage of cheering. Perhaps (F/N) should have joined in for the sake of her cover if nothing else, but she was too stunned.

"Quiet!" Katsura snapped. "If you are not going to take this seriously, then we'll have to do this." He hesitated, his cheeks slightly flushed. "(F/N)...(F/N)-chan, would you like to sneak into the castle with me?"

Everyone was deathly quiet. For a moment, (F/N) forgot her cover. Why was he acting so flustered? It was weird.

She recovered just in time, steeled herself, and put on a grin.

"Of course! Finally we get to kick some bakufu ass!"

This is it. Hijikata-kun is going to call off the mission now. What do I do?

~o0o~

The days passed, and (F/N) never reported the new information. She knew what Hijikata was going to say—this is enough, we're going to arrest him. But if Katsura was arrested...(F/N) would never see him again. Even if he somehow escaped, he would know she was a spy. He would hate her, and (F/N) couldn't live with that.

Saturday came. It was the day (F/N) had promised to visit headquarters, and even with her heavy heart, she forced herself to drag her feet to the familiar gate.

Almost as soon as she walked inside, she felt a presence behind her. She turned around, and came face-to-face with an oni mask.

Her scream echoed for miles.

"Wow, (F/N)-chan," Okita said in a monotone, draping an arm over her shoulder, "you're as jumpy as ever. Do they remove your brain in the Joui, or something?"

"Sougo-kun, you jerk!" (F/N) snapped. She pulled away from him and hit his chest. "Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!"

"Calm down. It was a joke. You're so sensitive." He gave her a noogie, and she clasped her hands over her head.

"You ripped the skin off my head!" she complained.

"Yeah, yeah. Your skull is too thick to get damaged by something like that."

"I thought that scream sounded familiar."

(F/N) turned around to find Hijikata walking over, cigarette and all. She grinned, and threw her arms around him.

"Hijikata-kun! Sougo-kun tore the skin off my head!"

"Yeah, yeah." He patted her head awkwardly. "Remember the three-second limit."

"Yes, sir."

She drew back after three seconds, and grinned.

"Glad to see you're in good spirits," Hijikata said with a smile. "I have to go out. You can give your report when I get back."

(F/N) hesitated. "Yes, sir..."

Hijikata left, and Okita grabbed her hand.

"Come on. We're doing sparring practice in the dojo."

(F/N) grinned. "Great! I haven't gotten a good workout in ages!"

~o0o~

"(F/N)-chan! Come and give daddy a hug!"

(F/N) dodged Kondo's arms, and continued to follow Okita to the dojo.

"In your dreams, moron," she muttered.

Kondo pouted. "Is that any way to talk to your father?"

"Since when are you my dad?" she asked. "I don't remember you ever officially adopting me."

She supposed Kondo had technically raised her. Maybe he was her father, but she wasn't about to give him the satisfaction. She was too upset over his newfound stalking habit.

When she entered the dojo, everyone ran up to greet her. Everyone except Yamazaki, who sat in the corner munching on anpan. He was probably upset she got the job meant for him.

"(F/N)-chan!" someone shouted. "What's it like in the Joui?"

"How did you manage to infiltrate them?"

"Is it true that they eat children for breakfast?"

(F/N) grimaced. "Where did you hear that?"

"Hey, (F/N)-chan," Okita said, picking up a practice sword. "Wanna spar?"

"Hell no," (F/N) answered. "You flatten me every time."

Okita was already putting a sword in her hands. "But it's fun, isn't it?"

"No it isn't!"

"He just likes to see you cry," someone said from the sidelines.

"I know that!" (F/N) snapped. "What I want is for him to stop!"

With everyone laughing around her, she suddenly felt a sense of belonging she hadn't felt in months. it dawned on her—this was her family. These were the people she grew up with. This was where she belonged.

She had to tell Hijikata everything.

~o0o~

"So they're finally going for the Shogun, huh?" Hijikata took a long draw of his cigarette, and released the smoke into the room. (F/N) didn't really mind. It was Hijikata's smell. She found it comforting.

"Well, then," he said, snuffing the cigarette out in the ashtray, "I think it's time to make our move."

"We're capturing him?" (F/N) asked.

He nodded. "Dead or alive. Are you ready?"

(F/N) smiled. By that point, she couldn't tell if it was real or fake. "Of course."

Author's note: Hello, everyone! Thanks for reading. Sorry this chapter took so long. I had a lot of trouble writing it for some reason. I hope it came out okay.

Anyway, if you liked this chapter, which I hope you did, please remember to vote. Bye!

-Marguerite Partello