Women are Crazy, Men are Stupid--Katsura Kotarou x Reader (Gintama)

Chapter 5

"I will not fall for Katsura-san...I will not fall for Katsura-san..."

(F/N) repeated the words to herself as she stared at her diary. There was a series of photos taped to the inside of the back cover. They had been taken soon after the Shinsengumi had arrived in Edo, and (F/N) took them everywhere she went like a good luck charm. She smiled on the photos, and closed the book just before she heard a knock on her door.

"Come in," she said, quickly shoving the diary into her desk drawer.

The door opened to reveal Elizabeth holding a sign that said 'party downstairs.'

(F/N) forced a smile. "Okay. I'll be right there."

The door clicked shut, and she let out a breath. The Joui were very adamant about holding a party every time there were new recruits, and (F/N) was horrified to learn that was a fairly common occurrence. It seemed everyone had some connection to the Joui, whether they fought, gathered information, sold weapons, or just cooked, cleaned, and ran petty errands.

(F/N) crossed the room to her mirror, and ran her fingers through her hair. She was a mess. She couldn't let Katsura see her like that. Maybe she should change clothes, or put on some makeup...did she have time to do her hair?

She realized what she was doing, and slapped herself. She couldn't fall in love with Katsura. That was impossible.

She decided to forgo dresses and makeup, and headed downstairs. What was the point of all that fancy stuff, anyway? It wasn't like anyone was going to remain sober for more than thirty seconds. That was the nice thing about Joui parties. No Hijikata threatening to make you commit seppuku if you got a little drunk.

~o0o~

"Hey, guys!" a drunk Joui shouted. "Let's play 'seven minutes in heaven!'"

(F/N) suddenly really wanted Hijikata to be there threatening people with seppuku.

"No!" Katsura snapped. "Games like that are absurd! Men and women should remain at a respectable distance from one another!"

One of the men frowned. "But boss, you've practically been glued to (F/N)-chan's side the whole night!"

"That—that's different! And refer to her with the proper respect!"

"It's fine, Katsura-san," (F/N) insisted. "I don't mind. You can call me (F/N)-chan, too, if you like."

Katsura sputtered, and the noisy Joui guys cheered.

"Let's do this!"

"Wait!" (F/N) snapped. "I didn't agree to the game!"

Since most of the Joui were men, they made up the majority of the 'women.' Elizabeth was also counted as a woman, and (F/N) could hear the others discussing who would be unfortunate enough to get locked in the closet with the strange amanto. It seemed this was not the first time they played the game. In hindsight, (F/N) should have figured that out sooner. After all, there was no other way Katsura would know what it was.

Within three minutes, everything was set up. They'd collected items from all of the people playing as men, and held it all in a bag under (F/N)'s nose.

"Your turn!"

(F/N) scowled. "Do I seriously have to go first? Ugh, fine."

She put her hand in the bag. Her fingers curled around something, and she pulled it out. It was a comb, and she immediately knew who it belonged to.

"Katsura—"

"In you go!"

The two of them were unceremoniously shoved into the tiny closet, and the door was shut behind them. (F/N) growled.

"Cheaters. There was only one item in that bag."

~o0o~

They spent one minute out of the seven trying to find a position where they weren't lying on top of each other. The closet was tiny, and filled to the brim with junk, and the only acceptable position they could find involved sitting on opposite sides with their legs tangled together.

"You—you know we're supposed to—you know..." (F/N) stammered.

"We...we don't have to do that," Katsura insisted. "Let's just...let's just talk."

(F/N) wished she could see his face, but in the darkness of the closet, it was impossible to tell. She wondered if his cheeks were as red as hers.

He said he wanted to talk. She supposed it was a chance to get information, but if she wanted to talk business while locked in a closet, he may get suspicious. She couldn't be inspector (L/N) (F/N) in that moment. What did the ordinary girl (F/N) want in that moment?

No. She couldn't fall in love with him. That was out of the question.

"Ka-katsura-san?"

"Yes, (L/N)-do—(F/N)-chan?"

She bit her lip. She'd spoken without thinking. What did she want to say? What did she want to know?

Suddenly, it clicked.

"Why did you become one of the Joui?"

She felt him shift. Oh, how she wanted to know what his face looked like in that moment.

"My parents died when I was young," he explained, "and my grandmother passed away soon after. Some time after that, I met a man named Yoshida Shouyou. He ran a school, and he was the one who taught me how to be a samurai. However, during the Kansei Purge, Shouyou-sensei was arrested."

"Oh, no..."

"I joined the war with the intention of saving Shouyou-sensei, but..."

(F/N) put a hand over her mouth. "Oh, no...I'm so sorry..."

There was a moment of silence before Katsura spoke again.

"What about you? Why did you chose to join the rebellion?"

(F/N) froze for a moment. She was certain she had made a cover story, but in that moment, she found she'd forgotten it.

"I don't feel comfortable talking in the dark like this," she said. "I'll see if I can find the light switch..." Let's see if I can buy myself some time...

She stumbled to her feet, and felt around for the light switch. She felt a string dangling from the ceiling, and pulled on it. At the same time, her ankle caught on something, and she went tumbling to the ground. The light flickered on, and she found herself face to face with Katsura.

"Ka...katsura-san?"

His hands went to her waist. She knew she should slap them away. She knew she should pull back, but she didn't want to, and from the look on Katsura's face, he didn't either.

Their noses brushed, and his lips moved to form words, his breath tickling her lips.

"(F/N)-chan," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "I—"

The door opened, and (F/N) was suddenly reminded that they were not, in fact, the only two people on the planet.

"Oooo..." someone said behind them. (F/N) looked up, and saw several of the men crowded around the door. Elizabeth towered over them with a sign that said 'juicy, juicy.'

All of a sudden, Katsura pushed her off, and went at them with his sword. Any other time, (F/N) probably would have joined him, but she was too busy sitting on the floor of the closet, a hand over her blushing face.

This is bad. I'm in love with Katsura-san...there's no doubt about it.

What do I do?