Deserae

Chapter 11

I managed to make my way back to the room Luna and I share, but it wasn't exactly easy. Thankfully Luna had taken my shirt off before she started whipping me, so I could slip the shirt back on to hide the evidence from anyone around in the halls. There wasn't anyone, but I would have felt self conscious if I wasn't wearing a shirt.

When I got to the room I peeled off all of my bloody clothes and threw them in the sink in the bathroom. I avoided my own reflection at all costs, I don't want to see myself. I don't want to see the embarrassment I've become. I don't want to see the scars on my body put there by Luna or anyone before her.

I turned on the water in the shower and climbed in, facing the shower head so that it wouldn't hit my back until I was ready for it. I need to prepare myself for the pain so that I don't scream too loudly, if I do then Luna might get mad at me again. I have a hard time believing it though, after what she did earlier I'm hoping she'll just leave me alone for the rest of the night.

The water burns a bit on my skin, but I like the heat. I'm always so cold that it's unbearable. I know that I feel cold because of the lack of blood in my system, and that's all thanks to Luna not feeding me irregularly. She only feeds me when I've done something extraordinary or if I handled a punishment really well.

A part of me hates her for it. That I can only live when I've done something that pleases her, but that's the reality of which I live. Unless she's happy I never get to eat, and when I do it's never enough blood to make me satisfied, just enough to keep me from passing out.

She thought that Vampire's could live for long periods of time without blood, and she's not wrong. We can live a very long time without sleep, blood, or anything else that people deem necessary for life. But Luna pushed that a bit far one time, and went over two weeks without giving me anything at all.

Of course I didn't complain, and completely kept my thoughts to myself whenever she would talk about food or being tired or hungry herself. One day though, the thirst became too much for me. I had been feeling light-headed the whole day and told her, so we left town, where we had been shopping for a while and went back to the castle.

I made it all the way to her room, but just barely. When she closed the door I allowed myself to relax a bit and then the shaking started. Just slightly at first, I don't even think she noticed, but it got worse and worse until I collapsed and couldn't stop the trembling. She had rushed over to me concerned, probably because she thought I was having some kind of seizure and thought her pet was dying, but she looked worried nonetheless.

The fit only lasted for a couple of minutes and then I blacked out, the last thing I remember ws her holding my face in her hands and calling my name over and over again. And I remember thinking how strange it was that she cared so much.

When I woke up I felt a little better, but my headache was still there. There were people over me I'd never seen before and now I know they were doctors, I was laying on Luna's bed and was instructed not to be moved for another week unless absolutely necessary.

But, when they left, and I told Luna that I felt better than before, she told me to get off of her bed and not take the incident as a big deal. She warned me that a lot of her pets had passed out and even died because of starvation and injuries she'd caused them, and told me that, if I was going to last any longer, I needed to build up my immunity to her torture.

I heeded her advice and started taking more medicine like pain killers and depressants so that I could sleep better at night. It meant that I wouldn't be hurting as much during the day and I could do more for her because I was more awake. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but then she only pushed me harder than before.