Deserae

Chapter 15

Luna and I stayed in the library for a long time, just talking and being alone together. Eventually a servant came and said that her father needed to talk to her, so she told me to go back to her room and she would join me shortly. We parted ways and I started back to her room, taking all of the hallways that don't go through the front of the castle so I can avoid the sun.

Thanks to Luna feeding me more often, my skin has toughened and I can be in the sun for a short period of time. I always find myself avoiding windows though, simply because it's a habit to not be around them. I worry about getting burned still, even though I know I won't be.

I wonder, if I drank more blood would I be able to stand out in the sun longer? Can most Vampire's be out in the sun if they have a proper diet and I'm the special exception to that? Maybe it's because I was kept as a slave for so long, with nothing to sustain me or keep me in a healthy condition.

Oh well, it doesn't matter now. Now I have all the blood I could ever want and I have Luna. Well...I guess I still have Luna.

Every time I ask her if she'll get rid of me when she marries William LunaGolybaya, she says no. She always says that she'll keep me and care for me and never let anyone use me without my own and her permission. She always says the right things, things that won't make me worried about me the future, but she never seems like she means them.

Luna always says that she won't get rid of me, but her heart was never in it. She always seems like she either didn't want to say it or has something else in mind. But whatever the case may be she never says anything but how she's going to keep me.

I have this unshakable fear that, even if she does keep me, she's going to replace me. She'll find another pet, a more submissive pet, one that might even enjoy her beatings and want to have more. Then she'll be distracted by them and not want me anymore, not want my apprehensiveness and my reluctance to pain.

What if someone new comes along and takes her from me? She's the Princess, she can have two pets if she wants. Maybe she would have me for company and them for her more twisted desires? But then what if she wanted to sleep with them, she's only kissed me once and it wasn't anything romantic.

She had me tied up, that seemed to always get her off. She ran a serrated knife along my naked stomach while a faint smile was plastered on her face. "You're so beautiful like this, Rae." She pressed down the tip of the blade right at the base of my ribs, making me queak in fear and pain at a single drop of blood fell from the wound.

I tried to relieve some nervous tension by moving my fingers, but my hands were tied above my head so I couldn't do much. The gag in my mouth wouldn't let me talk to tell her that I didn't want anymore, that I was sorry for whatever I had done, but she never let me apologize.

Luna always wanted to hurt me just too see me writhe in pain. She told me a little while ago that she did it because she liked for me to be completely at her mercy. She loved that I was dependent on her and that I couldn't do anything without her. I guess it's because her Alpha side wanted something to be powerless without her.

A part of me enjoyed it, the freedom that came with not being scared of her hurting me because of my own actions. The helplessness at her touch and yet knowing that she wouldn't abuse me. I guess most people crave their independence and their own freedom, but there's something so magical about letting someone else have complete and undeniable control.

I turned the corner and looked up to see Luna's door just a few feet away. Maybe I'll go take a nap or something and wait for Luna to come get me. Then we'll probably spend the rest of the day watching a movie together. Maybe I'll say I'm cold so she'll get us both a blanket and we can cuddle together.