Deserae

Chapter 20

Rae took my hand and led me down the halls to the playroom. She kept running her fingers through her hair with her free hand so knew she was nervous, but I think it's cute. I enjoy how anxious she is to do this with me because, let's be honest, I was afraid for a while that if I made a move on her she wouldn't like it. But knowing her she wouldn't say 'no', then it'd be rape and ugh...

I freak myself out too much.

When we got to the door she turned to me and put her hands around my neck, she leaned in like she was going to kiss me, which I thought was a little strange, seeing as we're still in the open and she doesn't like others to see what we do in our private life, but the kiss never came. She just untied the string around my neck and took away the necklace, the one with the only key on it to this door.

She opened it slowly and stepped down the stairs, not even checking back with me to make sure I followed her. But I did, of course, and locked the door behind us after we were in the stairs. Rae kept walking until she was in the middle of the room, then dropped down on her knees in front of the love seat that I always sit at when one of my pets are below me.

I'm so proud, she knows the routine so well.

I sat in front of her and crossed one leg over the other, waiting for her to continue with the step sequence Lilian and Caleb have been taught to follow. She's resting on her knees with her head down and her hands open, palms up. When I got settled, she looked up at me with pleading eyes, and I nodded to give her permission to start.

She put her forehead on my knee for a moment, submitting to me without the need for words. Then, very slowly and tenderly, moved backwards and leaned forward so that her head was on my feet.

The amount of power I feel when she does this for me is enigmatic. I want nothing but to push her face into the floor to make her feel below me, and to make sure she knows where her place is when I'm in my Domspace.

Unlike other Dom's, I know my Sub is below me. I know that we aren't the same and that her entire reason for existing is to please me, and she knows that too. Rae knows that, when I'm in this place of my mind, that she must submit to me unless I'm hurting her, because my Wolf won't accept anything else.

Rae picked her head back up and I spread my legs a little, my pants suit allowing enough mobility for me to still be sitting comfortably. She rested her hands on either of my thighs and leaned her head to the side, allowing me to knit my fingers through her hair and expose her neck.

I used my index finger to run my stiletto nail along her pulsing artery. Her breathing labored the harder I pressed down, but I didn't break the skin, no matter how badly I wanted to. I just can't get enough of her blood, the look of it, the feeling, the taste. It's a drug to me.

A part of me wants to embrace my animalistic instincts with her, to just lose all sense of self and to do whatever the hell I want just for the sake of 'because I want to'. I want to beat her and make her bleed, to make her cry and suffer at my hands. I want to watch her beg for death, just so I'll leave her alone and she won't experience me tormenting her.

It's not just that I want her to feel the pain, but I want her to want me to give it to her. I want to be able and beat her mercilessly, to rip the skin off her body and bring her to the brink of death. And after everything, after every strike or whipping, after all of the days of starvation and degradation, she'll come back to me.

She won't care about how hard I hit her or how I make her use her own body, but she'll trust me anyway. She'll know that I won't kill her and that, every time I harm her, it's out of love and just because I trust her. I trust her to not leave me for being the way I am, and she'll trust me to care for her when my dominance is satisfied.