No Homo

04

Well shit.

Inevitably it isn't my fault. It was nothing but a simple mistake- a misunderstanding. Still, the guilt I feel is beyond belief. I didn't mean to kiss him, I honestly thought some hoe would have been sent in there. Still, that doesn't change the fact that I liked it. I liked how his lips were the softest I've ever encountered. The problem is, if I could kiss him again, I would.

But I'm not fucking gay, so the thought of...kissing him again, it's ludicrous.

What was Liam thinking anyways? Doesn't he understand how that game fucking works? He could have protested, or simply left the house in general. He didn't have to come in the damn closet. He could have just left me there, alone in the dark.

The scene constantly replays in my mind, over and over again. The way he fell to the ground in complete horror. The way little rays of light shown through the closet just enough so I could see his gray, wide, innocent eyes. I winced as I remember how I ran out of the closet, leaving him there with the teenagers who surely tore him apart.

I'm a prick.

I'm a prick for leaving him there in the state he was in.

It's an early Monday morning, the life of the people walking through the school hallways is almost nonexistent. Nobody wants to be here, myself included. I can feel the bags under my eyes and I know I look like shit right now. Sure, it probably wasn't the best idea to hold a party on a Sunday night, but I'm a teenager, I'm allowed to make dumb decisions.

Out of the sea of miserable teenagers, a smiling boy stood out. Seriously, how does Seth always smile and seem happy? I quickly walked over to his locker where he stood looking down at his phone.

"Jacky!" My best friend yelled with a smile once he noticed my presence. We quickly did our 'bro handshake' as he calls it, before he shot me an even larger smile. I laughed as he leaned his back against the lockers, his attention quickly drawn back to his phone.

"Who you texting?" I asked with a small smirk, causing his face to turn a slight shade of red. His eyes averted from his phone and instead locked with mine. A small smirk was placed on his face before he crossed his arms.

"Jackson, I know we have this strong love and you're completely infatuated with me, but you gotta realize that there are others who also find me exceedingly attractive."

I couldn't help but let out a loud laugh, causing some attention to be drawn to us. Seth let out a small snort before once again turning his attention back to his phone.

I leaned my back against the locker next to Seth, letting out a loud sigh.

"What's wrong, fairy?"Seth asked, not looking up from his phone. My face instant scrunched together at the name.

"Seth, what the fuck-"

"Calm down, I'm not meaning it in a demeaning way. Although, I do know about your little homosexual encounter with the cute little boy from the concession stand. Lexi told me." He talked about it so calmly and plainly, like it didn't matter at all. But it mattered a lot, like a fuck ton.

His eyes finally looked up from his screen and locked with mine once again, "Just don't get aids. I don't wanna have to deal with your sick ass in the hospital." I couldn't help but let out a goofy laugh and lightly shove his shoulder.

The day went on as normal, long boring classes that seemed to have no importance to me. Finally, it was eighth period, although I fucking hate this class with all of my heart. I just don't understand chemistry. I guess it was dumb for me to enroll in an AP Chemistry class when I struggled to pass basic biology 1. I don't make the smartest choices.

I groaned as I walked into class, but my despair was quickly replaced with a mixture of joy and fear as I saw who sat in the back of the class. Ive never noticed him in this class before, but now that I know who he is, it's almost impossible to ignore  him.

He sat in the far back corner, his head hung down, reading a thick book. His long, wavy black hair covered his perfectly innocent gray eyes. He wore faded jeans with rips at the knees. The jeans were cuffed at the bottom and they seemed a little large, but a small brown belt held them up quite nicely. Tucked into the jeans was a baggy red and white striped t-shirt. It reminded me of a short-sleeved Wheres Waldo shirt.

I looked down at my outfit, noticing how little effort I put in compared to Liam. My black jeans and white shirt made me feel like an Oreo. I quickly threw my book bag down on one of the desks and pulled out my Letterman jacket that I found on the ground in my closet earlier today. Liam must have taken it off and left it there. It still sort of smelled like him, and I couldn't help the small smile that crept up on my face.

After putting my jacket on I went to my usual seat in the middle of the classroom next to Leah, who was putting on makeup, using her iPhone camera as a mirror.

"Hey," I said with a small smile and a wave. She gave me the side-eye and returned to fixing her makeup. "Look, Leah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to walk out on you, I was just drunk and I wasn't aware of my actions." She simply rolled her eyes and muttered an 'it's fine' before she put her makeup back in her book bag.

The lesson went by pretty quickly, but that was probably because I was daydreaming the entire time. Leah didn't bother to look at me nor talk to me, which I didn't mind in all honesty. I enjoyed staying in dreamland. 

The final school bell rang and everyone quickly stood up, eager to get out of class. I turned my head to the back of the classroom to notice Liam slowly standing up and packing his things in his bag. He wasn't like everyone else, he was different. He was calm and seemed so collected. He looked like he had his shit together in this death trap of a high school.

"Mr. Dyer, Mr. Winters; would you two mind speaking with me for a moment?" Dr. Smizer called out, pulling me out of my thoughts. Liam quickly looked up and he seemed nervous in a way, his calmness completely defusing. He slung his backpack around his shoulder and walked up to Smizers desk, me following his actions.

Dr. Smizer sat at his desk as Liam and I stood there feeling very uncomfortable.

"Jackson, I'm going to be very blunt, you're my worst student. If you don't start putting in some effort, you're not going to pass my class and you'll be kicked off of the baseball team, which most likely means your scholarship will be taken away." My heart dropped at Smizers words. I'm not completely dumb, but I'm certainly not smart. I need this scholarship if I want to get into college and be successful with my life. 

I felt Liam tense beside me and he seemed to be even more uncomfortable than before.

"How does this regard me, Dr. Smizer?" Liam's small voice spoke out. His voice was soft and even cute in a way. Smizers attention quickly turned to Liam and he gave off a small smile.

"Liam, you're my best student. You're extremely bright and I think you could help out Mr. Dyer. I'd be willing to pay you if you would tutor Jackson because frankly, I want both of you to succeed. Liam, I know you need the money; and Jackson, I know you need this scholarship."

I looked down at the small boy who seemed to be so much shorter and smaller than I. His pale skin looked so smooth and his lips were a light pink that seemed so soft, and I know for a fact that they are as soft as they look. And the next words that came from his pink, soft lips both made me fill with fear, but also hope. 

"If Jackson is okay with it, I'd be willing to tutor him."