The Heart That's Inside

chapter FOUR

"What happens in a certain place can stain your feelings for that location, just as ink can stain a white sheet"

- Lemony Snicket

My days lately are a mixture of dragging myself to class, wishing for it to be over soon, and going to doctor's appointments. Neither one was something I wanted to do, apparently both were very mandatory.

Some days I couldn't wait to see my little one, giggling every time it would give the technician a few good kicks for pressing too hard on my belly, on it's home. Others, well, it's just a reminder of how alone I really was. It wasn't my choice to do this on my own, but here I am, forced into a decision I didn't make by myself. 

I haven't spoken to Andrew since. I dropped out of Math so I wouldn't be forced to see him either. I wouldn't be able to look at him without wanting to vomit, or break down crying. Neither of which I wanted to do in front of anybody we knew. It's not like people were on my side, they of course took his.

I was now the outcast of the entire school, the very thing I knew would happen. Dreading each day, forcing myself to go, while he got to go on with life as if nothing ever happened.  Oh to be so lucky.

Kathy Marshall didn't make things any easier on me. Word spread around pretty fast that she was trying to get with Andrew now that he had finally gotten rid of me. I knew the rumors were most likely true, most of the guys wanted to get with her.

Her stupid dirty blonde hair, and overly long legs, didn't amount to much when it came to her even worse personality. Guys didn't care about that stuff though, Kathy was easy, and that's the only thing they wanted from a girl like her. Always chasing their next conquest and putting it in their fictional black book to later parade around with their equally as disgusting friends. 

I knew not every guy was like that, but, in a town this small, it's hard to find a diamond in a pit of carbon rocks. It's not like anybody would want me in this condition, nor would I ever think about trying. It just would have been nice to know that someone out there could still love me. My dreams of my "knight" in shining armor were slowly fading into the distance. I felt like I was destined to be spend the rest of my life alone, wishing to be saved, and knowing he'll never come. I wondered what it felt like to truly be taken care of.

The bell rings, and I'm brought back to reality. I slip out of my chair, quickly gathering all the papers and homework off my desk, for this weekend, and shoving them deep into my backpack.  I hurry out the door, pacing down the hallway when I'm stopped in my tracks.

A shout from behind causes me to turn around. Ugh, there she is, smug look and all. 

"Hey Ellieee..," she retorted snidely.

"Did you hear the good news? I've got myself a new man candy," Her laugh cackled so loud you could hear it from inside the cafeteria. 

"Oh?" I questioned, "Who's the unlucky asshole this time?"

Kathy's smug look turned sour, her eyes stared me down.

"Well..," she started, I braced myself for her words.

"You should know him, he used to be in your bed, now he's in mine," She sneered.

I knew she was hoping I would break down, it would satisfy her to know she hurt me. I couldn't let that happen, I couldn't let her get away with it.

"I could always help you out you know?" she smiled. 

"What could you ever help me with Bitch?" I snapped back.