The Heart That's Inside

Prologue ¤

Life.

Ah, life. It's funny isn't it? I don't mean to sound so cliche. Though all good stories start out that way, even without meaning to.

I was young, and to be quite honest, dumb. In love with the idea of it, maybe even the person, though now that seems so far from the truth, I could spit. See, I didn't want to be like everyone else, I tried to stand out. I really did. Even through my anxiety and the vast patriarchy of the modern teen girl, I was me. Wasn't I?

I rocked out to Green Day, My Chemical Romance, and the occasional Eminem track. I wore leggings under my shorts and baggy band tees. I cut my hair short, and to my extreme dislike, my mother dyed it black. I thought I would blend in when it came to my new school, all it did was make me stand out. Which, I figured, was hard to do in this bland town overpopulated by retirees. I was different I thought, shouldn't that make me feel good? better even?

I didn't do drugs, like most of this towns teenage population did. I didn't cause any kind of trouble, and I always had good grades. The only mess I managed to get myself into was a bed, even I didn't think I would ever do such a thing. Boy was I sorely mistaken on that one, huh?

Isn't that what we all believe though; That we are all different? All unique? Our own Mythical creature just waiting to be discovered? All we ever really wanted was to be appreciated for our efforts. To be loved like every movie, book, song, magazine, social media account, and celebrity tell us we should be. What we could be.

We've all read the words, and longed after the photos of the picture perfect couples. We've all seen the same stories, over and over again. Integrated into us from a young age, forced down our throats, and breathed out with every movement of our chest until we can't hold it in any longer..

LOVE ME!

Please, love me.

That's all I ever wanted, all I ever thought I needed. To be loved, to have the one relationship that lasts. To be saved by my "knight" in shining armor riding up on his white horse. No matter what it took, that was going to me and I didn't care who I hurt to get it either.

Turns out it wasn't the love I had in mind, but it taught me more than I could have ever imagined.

For me, It all started with a test.