The Heart That's Inside

chapter SEVEN

"Most of the time, I do not want to die. But I would like to have the means of death within my grasp. I want to feel the luxury of choice, to know the answer to "How do I bear this?" need not always be "Endure"
-Anna Lyndsey

The alarm beeps beside me, I swing my hand down on top of it trying to find the button to turn it off. I start to yawn while stretching out my legs and arms, listening to the crackling of my bones popping back into place. I slowly open one of my eyelids, just enough to see the time read 7:30 am. Oh no! I'm going to be really late for school.

I jump up as fast I can, flinging the comforter beside me, not bothering to fix it. I whip my pajamas off of me and onto the floor. I half ass brush the knots out of my hair, while trying to get dressed at the same time. Hopping around, pulling one pant leg around the right side, and jumping into the other with my left. I slide them up, slipping on whatever shirt is closest to me. I sniff my armpits, quickly throwing on deodorant and running into the bathroom.

I brush my teeth ferociously, enough to make my gums bleed. I gulp water into my mouth, spitting out the red liquid into the sink. "Ugh, This is not happening!" I can feel the panic building up inside me. I hate being late, but I definitely can't afford being late for school. I've missed way too many days already. I make my way carefully down the stairs while holding onto the rail, avoiding another accident this time.

I get downstairs, my dad is gone. He must of left early to get groceries, though he usually makes sure I'm up in time. I slip my Converse on with the laces already tied, throwing my backpack over my shoulders. I grab the handle of the door, just as I was about to turn the knob, the phone rings. I guess he forgot to take it off the hook before he left. I rush to grab it, hopefully it's not important.

"Meyers residents," I say proudly into the phone.

"Ellie speaking," waiting for the voice on the other end. It was silent for a few seconds, and then I heard him.

"Ellie?" he cried. "Is it really you?" My mouth turned sour, I knew who this was instantly.

"Andrew..," I growl into the phone. "What the hell do you want?"

"Oh El, I've missed you so much!" his voice cracking.

"Have you now?" I didn't believe him.

"We haven't spoken in months, and I'm late for school!"

"But Ellie, it's Saturday. You don't have school on Saturday!" he giggles into the phone.

I slap my hand to my forehead and groan. That's why my dad let me sleep in, it's the weekend. I'm so stupid, how could I not have known? I slump into the couch beside me, dropping my backpack onto the floor next to my feet. I wished I had never have woken up this morning.

"Ugh, this day just keeps getting better and better," I cringe into the phone.

"I'm sorry, but at least we can talk now," offering his sympathies.

"Not really, I'm not allowed to talk to you Andrew, you know that," you could hear the disapproval in my voice. "My father made it very clear you're not welcome around me anymore."

"I know.. I know, I just wanted to hear your voice," he whispers quietly. "I've missed it, and you, and everything."

"Well you should have thought of that before you completely broke my heart, leaving me to raise the baby by myself," gritting through my teeth.

"How.. how is the baby?" he asks nervously. "I haven't heard anything since you moved away."

"Good, he's good," I didn't want to tell him anything, he didn't deserve to know.