What She Left Behind ✔️

chapter twenty-one

"So your flash drive is still MIA, and your brother is going to be a dad?" Levi grabs a beer from the fridge, shakes his head, and then places it back on the shelf. "Yesterday was a weird day, huh?"

"The weirdest." I notice that Levi doesn't close the refrigerator door right away. He stares at the six-pack of beer for a while, his eyes hungry for more than just a drink. "Hey, not to overstep, but if you want, I can throw those out," I offer.

"No, I'm okay," he insists, and joins me at the table. "How preggo is Alyx?"

"Can't be too far along. She's still a toothpick with legs."

"They've only been together since New Year's Eve. This is wild."

"The wildest part," I say, "is that he was super excited, but she seemed—"

"Freaked out?"

"Disappointed, actually."

"I'd be freaked," he replies. "I'm sorry, but I don't even say 'I love you' this soon in a relationship, and they're already starting a family? That's just insane."

"Do you want kids?" I ask.

Levi blinks. "I... I don't know."

"You've never thought about it?" I pry.

"First of all, I'm gay," he tells me, as if this is a new discovery. "Second, I'm single as fuck. The last thing I'm thinking about right now is children."

"There are ways around the whole not-having-a-uterus thing," I remind him. "Adoption, surrogacy, stealing a baby from—"

"I'm gonna stop you right there," he interrupts. "Anyway, what about you? Do you want to put those reproductive organs to use one day?"

I shrug my shoulders. Like him, I don't have an answer. A year ago, I would have said no in a heartbeat. Now I'm not so sure.

"What about Evangeline?" he inquires.

"What about her?"

"Well, in case you've forgotten, Raelyn left her to you."

"She's a person, Levi, not a piece of property."

"You know what I mean."

I let out a sigh. Evangeline is remarkable. She's so kind and smart and intuitive for her age. I definitely care about her. I think maybe, possibly, I might even love her.

But I don't know if I'm ready to be her guardian.

"If I got custody of her, she'd have to move in with us," I finally say. "That would make you the closest thing she'd have to a dad."

"I think I could handle it," he replies. "We'd make great parents."

I raise my eyebrows. "Oh, yeah? Whatever happened to 'you have to maternal instincts of a pencil sharpener'?"

His cheeks turn tomato red. "Did I say that?"

"Yeah, like, right after Raelyn's funeral."

"Well, you're not the same person you were in December. We'll call it character development."

"I know I wasn't put on this planet just to make and raise babies," I elaborate. "I still value my career. I still have goals I'd like to accomplish, but it—having a family, I mean—is not outside of the realm of possibilities."

"Is it because of that hunky IT man?" Levi purses his lips and wiggles his eyebrows. "Because, let me tell you, if it was a biological possibility, I would totally make a baby with him."