What She Left Behind ✔️

chapter twenty-seven

A/N: Another tear-jerker. Song for the chapter is "You Said You'd Grow Old With Me." 😭

I smooth out the wrinkles in my black dress. We're just burying an urn, but it feels like a second funeral.

Levi and I walk side by side, my arm hooked through his. We climb into his car and drive to the cemetery. We don't talk. We don't even listen to music. I'm too anxious to hear anything beyond the beating of my own heart.

Putting Raelyn in the ground will be a breeze compared to telling Evangeline that I want to adopt her.

"Don't be nervous," Levi says, locking his Audi. He leads me up the hill toward a lush green field decorated with marble and granite. "Evangeline's gonna be thrilled."

"God, I hope so." I spot my parents and Evangeline by a sleek tapered stone and wave. "I'm not going to say anything until after the burial. Today is about Raelyn, not me."

My mom smiles when she sees us. She greets me with a hug and tells me how pretty I look. I don't feel pretty. I don't even feel sad. I just feel uneasy. My stomach is in knots that grow tighter with each breath I take.

"Thank you for coming, son." My dad claps Levi on the shoulder. In identical black suits, they almost look like a father/son duo. "We really appreciate you being here."

"Of course, Mr. Beaufort," Levi replies. "I wouldn't have missed this for the world."

"If only everyone felt that way," I hear Mom grumble.

"Your brothers can't make it," my dad offers a hushed explanation. "Benson has to work late, and... well, we couldn't reach Bowie."

A part of me is angry with Benson and Bowie, but another part understands. I missed the last six years of Raelyn's life because I was working. I regret it more than anything now—as Levi once said, hindsight is a bitch—but I refuse to be hypocrite and shame my brother for doing exactly what I did. As for Bowie, I just want him to be okay. Whatever he's struggling with, I want him to come out on top.

"Ooh, here comes the pastor!" my mom announces.

I rotate my head and see the same man who oversaw Raelyn's memorial service back in December. He ambles toward us and gazes at Raelyn's tombstone.

"How lovely," he remarks, caressing its smooth edges with his fingertips. "It's somewhat comforting when something so tragic can bring about something so beautiful."

Although I would trade all of the stones in this cemetery to have Raelyn back, I see his point. With black coloring and a silky, glass-like exterior, it does stand out from the rest. Etched into it are the words "RAELYN ELIZABETH PORTER, LOVING MOTHER AND CARING FRIEND." The brief description doesn't do her justice. She was so much more than a mother and a friend. She was playful and creative and vibrant. She had an infectious laugh and a smile that could illuminate an auditorium. She saw the good in everyone, even people who didn't deserve it.

Even me.

I turn to Evangeline, who hasn't said a word since my arrival. Her brown locks have been pulled back into two braids. Her body is cloaked in a simple black sweater with a pair dark denim jeans and a set of Mary Jane shoes. Her freckled face is unreadable. I stand beside her and slip my fingers through hers.

"I wish we weren't doing this," she whispers so only I can hear. "It's like reliving that day all over again."

I don't know if she's referring to the funeral or the day her mother committed suicide, but I don't ask. Instead, I give her hand a squeeze and say, "It'll be over soon. If it's okay with my parents, I'll take you out for ice cream after."

"Can we please?" she squeals.

"I'll ask when we're done," I promise her. My goal is to make this evening as painless for Evangeline as possible.