admiration [l.t]

ix

The classic honeymoon faze, the one full of laughs and smiles, kisses and intimate moments, secrets and stories, is the one Louis wishes would last the longest. There's nothing wrong with it besides the fact that the two are so oblivious to the world around them, too caught up in each other, that nothing else seems to exist. It's a real shame it doesn't last forever.

Louis asked Bella to be his girlfriend the day after they kissed at the party. The way they acted around each other didn't change; the only thing being different is the fact that they now have a title. The main thing that changed, however, was that they now kissed and touched each other more.

Louis actually enjoyed watching movies at her place now because it more often than not led them to making out on the couch.

And fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, enough that lasted a month; hanging out every second of the day, enjoying the simplicity. One might say it was suffocating, but it's not, not when you're falling hard and you're falling fast. Because all you want to do is be around them, to feel their presence, to know they're yours. 

But not all good things last forever, as Louis soon found out. It wasn't a fight that was detrimental to their relationship, but it was their first one full of yelling and screaming. It was completely irrational on both of their parts, and luckily they came to terms with that.

They're sitting in the car coming back from the restaurant Louis had taken them to for their one month anniversary. Bella is singing quietly along to the song playing on the radio while Louis taps his thumbs gently on the wheel. The silence is very comfortable. The one thing, however, bad about silence, is that it automatically leads Louis to thinking, which ends up causing him to speak his mind.

"Do you think this is going anywhere?" Louis asks nervously, eyes never leaving the road.

"This?"

"Yeah, you know... us?"

Bella looks over to Louis, eyebrows furrowed slightly with his random question. Louis doesn't dare look over at her, fearing what she may be thinking. "I don't know, Lou. It's only been a month. I do like where we are going though, I think."

"Well, like, in a relationship you're either going to break up or-"

"So you're already thinking about the end?" Bella cuts him off, leaning forward in her seat.

"What? No, I was actually thinking about not... the end."

"I don't know how you expect me to think that far," she says through a sigh, sinking back down into her seat.

"Well I think that far," Louis says, mainly to himself.

"But why?" Shit, he must have said it louder than he thought.

"What do you mean why? Like I was saying in a relationship you either break up or have a future together and I like to think about the better of the two."

Bella rests her chin in her hand, leaning against the door. "Let's just forget about this before it turns into something."

"Then can you at least answer my question."

"No."

"But why?"

"Because I know you won't like my answer."

Louis' fists clench on the steering wheel, breathing becoming heavier. His lips are pursed together, his body slightly rocking back and forth. "So you don't see this going anywhere."

"I never said that."

"You didn't say otherwise."

"Gosh, Louis!  I don't know where this is going, okay? It's only been a month. A month! How can you expect me to see a future with you? I've literally just met you five months ago and you're already asking me about our future." She's yelling now, hands frantically moving in front of her as she emphasizes her point.

It stings, it really does. He knows it shouldn't because she has a point but it hurts. She doesn't know where this is going. So when she said yes to his question was she only thinking about it being a small fling?

Louis has always been insecure about himself, or mainly about his relationships, which is something Bella knows throughout their never ending talks, so naturally he tries to think about how everything can and will work out. It's hurt his relationships in the past, but he can't help it.

"Okay," he says in a whisper.

"Okay."

And that's how it happened. They're both too stubborn to admit they're both wrong, and the car ride continued in an awkward silence.

Louis didn't spend the night at her dorm like he was supposed to that night and they didn't talk the next day. They ignored each other's calls and texts.

Louis finally gave up, though, when he saw her in the courtyard listening to music through her headphones. He walked up to her, not sure whether or not she had noticed him yet, and gently grabbed her arm.

She turned around quickly, eyes meeting his for just a small moment before Louis pulled her in for a quick kiss. She didn't respond immediately, but soon enough she closed her eyes and moved her lips against his.

"I'm sorry," Louis spoke when he pulled away.

"We both should be sorry, we sorta made a big deal out of nothing," she said softly, smiling.

"Stay at my place tonight?"

"Of course."