things we did when no one was looking

the one with the party | part 2

I'm frozen, standing there watching them. Why does it hurt seeing this? Why couldn't Noah Thurman just stay away?

I've never seen this girl around campus. Which means Noah's probably never met her, since he's only been back for a week. If he can start making out with a random girl after 10 minutes, then I probably don't mean anything at all. So he really does think I'm just a kid. I feel so stupid, dressed up at a party that I would never be at under any other circumstance, just to impress a guy I've spent years getting over. Walking out of the kitchen, I think I catch Noah stopping in my peripheral vision, but I don't look back.

"Veronica!" Leo waves me over to where he sits with a group of people I assume are his friends, pulling me closer when I walk too slow. "What's up buttercup?"

"Nothing, it's nothing, really. How's the party going?" He makes room for me to sit next to him and I oblige.

"Everyone's drunk, which means no ones thinking about finals, so I consider it a success!" He takes a drink from his glass, something I'm guessing is whiskey. "But you don't look like you're having the time of your life."

"Let's just say college ragers aren't really my thing," He pours me a cup with a nod and passes it over. Boy, do I wish I could get drunk.

"I thought you were with Thurman tonight."

I shrug, not taking the opportunity to look around. "Nah, we were just talking. So what's up with you?"

Leo shrugs, his drink forgotten on the table as he rests his head on the back of the couch. "Living life, I guess. Letting college kick my ass all week so I can drink to forget about it all through the weekend."

There's something so vulnerable in the way he closes his eyes and lets out that admission, something I've never seen Leo have before. "Come on," I grab his hand and tug him off the couch.

"What are you doing?"

"I want to dance, and you're dancing with me." The song changes to a rap song that sounds vaguely familiar, but I don't pay attention as Leo rolls his eyes, smiling as he drags me out onto the floor.

One drink becomes two, then three, and maybe a fourth until I lose count. I'm starting to get a little tipsy myself, and Leo's definitely a bit past drunk. "You know," he chuckles, falling back onto the couch again. "You're more fun than I thought, Ryder."

"Really?" My face is flushed from dancing and drinking, my fingers threading through my scalp, deftly undoing my braids. My hair hangs in soft curls, tumbling over my shoulders. "And what did you think?" I tuck my legs under me, resting my chin on the palm of my hand.

He smiles, the corner of his mouth tilting upward as he learns forward. "I thought you couldn't handle your alcohol. But looking on where we are know, I guess the turns have tabled-" He breaks into a fit of laughter, and I can't help but laugh along with him. "God, you're pretty," he sighs, and I can barely react before his lips are on mine. And I'm kissing him back, my fingers threading through his hair as he pulls me closer, a hand at the base of my neck. I don't know if I'm kissing him because I'm upset about Noah, or if the alcohol is finally getting to my head, but I'm barely thinking about that right now.

The moment's barely begun when an arm closes around my wrist, making me stumble as I'm pulled off the couch, a tall blond wall standing between me and Leo. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Noah growls, his hand balling to a fist at his side. Leo, obviously drunk out of his mind, barely registers Noah as he pours himself another drink. My hand shoots out to stop him, but Noah's turned around, face flushed red in anger as he starts to pull me away.

"Fucking hell, Thurman, what are you doing?" I'm squirming and twisting, but he's got an iron grip.

"Taking you home. You're drunk. What the hell do you think you're doing, V, making out with strangers-"

"He's not a stranger!" I slap his hand off and start to walk away. "And you're one to talk, I'm pretty sure that was you I saw eating a girl's face in the kitchen earlier."

"V-"

"Save it. Go find her again, I'm finding Max." I turn to the stairs, knowing Max is probably upstairs with someone. I'll apologize for ruining his night later. I'm halfway up one flight when I hear him start to follow me. "I said go away, Noah-"

"V, look at me-"

"No! I'm sick of this!" I make it to the top of the stairs and throw open the door of the first room on my right, but there's no one inside. Noah walks inside and shuts the door, standing against it.

"Sick of what?" I can't look at him. Her lipstick's smudged on his lips.

"THIS! You, I-I can't deal with how you give me gifts and flirt with me and dance with me, and insinuate that we should skinny dip, and then the next second, you're keeping me at an arm's length and calling me a kid, and then when I go kiss someone else, you get all bothered about it? It's whiplash, and I'm sick and tired of it. I really need to know what I am to you, because if I'm just Will's little sister-"

I stutter as he steps closer and closer, backing me up against one of the bedposts of the bed in the room. "You think that's all you are to me?" His hands are on my forearms, and my knees feel like giving out from the harshness of his stare. "What are you doing to me, V?" My breath hitches as he presses his lips to mine, hands moving to cup my face. I hesitate at first, before I kiss him back, my arms wrapping around his neck to pull him down. I can feel him smile against my lips as I stand on my tiptoes, and his hands go to the backs of my thighs.

"Jump," he whispers, and I oblige, my legs wrapping around his waist. He stumbles slightly as he carries me to the bed, laying me down without breaking the kiss. "God, V," he mumbles, hands on my hips as he tugs on my bottom lip gently. "You drive me crazy, and you don't even know it." His hands play with the hem of my shirt and my heart's beating a mile a minute, his hot breath fanning against my skin.

"Noah, we-" I don't get a chance to finish that thought as he reconnects our lips. There's nothing slow or sweet about the way he's kissing me. It's heavy and fast, like I'm an all-you-can-eat buffet and he's been starved for months. I hold on to him as he flips over on the bed so that he's sitting up, and pulls me onto his lap, straddling his waist. There's a buzzing in my brain, and I barely register anything else other than him as I kiss him again.

His hands slip under my shirt, running up my sides as his tongue darts out of his mouth, gliding across my bottom lip. I moan as I let him in, his cold hands a stark contrast to my body, which feels like it's on fire. His head dips into the crook of my neck and he kisses the skin there gently, making me practically melt under his grip. "Jesus Christ, V-" the door opens mid-sentence and his voice leaves him, both of us turning to look at the interruption.

A random guy in a varsity jacket is leaning against the doorframe, a girl in a low cut dress kissing all over his jaw. "My bad," he snickers, taking a swig from the beer bottle in his hand."Didn't realize anyone was in here." The girl whines as he closes the door, and neither of us move until we hear their footsteps fade down the hall.

Noah shakes his head, letting out a laugh as we're left alone again. "So where were we?" He leans back in, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, but I put a hand to his chest. "What's up?"

"We shouldn't be doing this." My heart's beating fast again, but not for the same reason as I get off his lap. "We- Oh god, we shouldn't have done that."

"Woah woah woah woah, what the hell do you mean?"

"I- you- you know about Will's rule, Noah, this can't happen, ever, we- I can't do that. He's my brother. He's practically yours too."

"What, you're backing out because of a stupid rule? Come on, V." His eyebrow's raised in disbelief as he puts a hand against the door, stopping me from leaving. "There has to be something else, so tell me what's really bothering you."

"I don't want to be another girl." I look him straight in the eye, but he gives me no reaction. "I don't want to be another hookup, Noah. I've had the stupidest crush on you for the longest time, and I don't think I can handle that."

He doesn't say anything as I open the door and leave, feeling like I'm about to collapse as I get down the stairs. I text Max to tell him I'm going home before walking out the door. Leo doesn't live too far from my place. When I get home, Will is asleep on the couch. I pull the blanket over him before going upstairs.

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