things we did when no one was looking

the one with the best friends

"You hadn't texted me," Max croaks from the entrance of my room, staring at his sleeves. "And I was so worried about you, I told Will to call Noah, and then he asked why you were with Noah, and I thought..." He sobs as he trails off. "I thought I'd tell him anything to get you home."

I just nod from my spot on my bed, curled up under the blankets. "Ronnie, say something."

"I'm not angry at you, Max."

"But you should be!" He wails. "You should hate me, and curse me, and never want to see me again, and I'd have to live with that because I did this."

"I think this was inevitable." I croak. "I think we all knew this was coming, it's just that none of us wanted to face it. And now look at us. I fell in love with Noah Thurman, the boy wonder rockstar who can't settle down."

"Have you texted him?"

"He didn't respond."

I had gone to Noah's flat and texted him, called him, called Sarah and Ryder and Finn and Brendan, but no one saw him. No one knows where he went. Noah Thurman is dead to the world.

"And Will?"

"I haven't said 3 words to him since that night."

"Ronnie, I-" Max breaks out into tears again, not holding them back this time as his shoulders shake. "I'm such a fuck up. The one guy you've been in love with since forever and I fucked it up for you both."

Sitting up, I see myself in he mirror. My eyes are dark and I look so...weak. But I pull Max into a hug until he calms down. "Maybe neither of us were meant to be. Maybe it was a whole ass time bomb waiting to go off."

"And I pressed the detonator."

"I think we all did. But least of all, you. I just-" I don't know how to describe my emotions. "Everything is so fucked in my life right now, and I can't have you leaving too because you blame yourself," I whisper, my voice filled with strain.

Max nods and holds me closer. And then I'm crying, my shoulders shaking as I hug him. "I miss him so much, Max."

"I know, Ronnie. I know. "