My LDR (long distance relationship)

How we met

Soo, my name is Lexi. I'm from Toronto, Canada and I am in a long distance relationship.

During the summer, I spent weeks with my friend Breanna. She was on this stupid app called Chatous. She kept talking about all these guys and how they're all so hot. Eventually, she talked me into trying it. I was on it for a couple days. Maybe 1-2 weeks. I was talking to guys but holy fuck were they ever boring. None of them knew how to keep a conversation going.

Then one day, I met a guy under the hashtag #weed (yes I smoke. whatever) His name was Derek. He was from Utah and he was 16 (in grade 11). I really enjoyed his bio and thought he might be somewhat interesting. He sent the first message. "What's up mah Juana parter?". This made me laugh and put a huge smile on my face. I could immediately tell he was going to be fun to talk to.

After we were talking for a while, I was obviously interested in knowing what he looked like, so I asked for a picture. He sent me one and holy shit was he ever cute. He's a tall, extremely fit, blonde. He has these killer hazel eyes that are green on the inside and have gold/brown flakes. He asked for a picture in return, and yeah, I gave him one. He opened it and kept going on and on and on about how "cute" or "beautiful" I was. I didn't believe it but, it made me insanely happy.

Eventually we swapped numbers. We texted day and night. Non stop. He was 2 hours behind which kind of made it easier for me because I didn't have to worry about him falling asleep (I stay up late). He said many things that put huge smiles on my face. He was different from all the other guys. He had a sensitive side which I fucking loved. Slowly, we started flirting. I noticed that when we weren't talking I felt lonely and bored. I missed him. I would stare at my phone and reread our texts until he came back. (God I'm clingy) Every single time I was reading our old texts HE WOULD TEXT ME AND HE WOULD KNOW I WAS ON OUR MESSAGES BC IT SAID "READ" I always got so embarrassed. Eventually, I stopped caring about what he thought (in a good way). I could snapchat him without any make up on and I could make the stupidest faces without being embarrassed or wondering if he would find it unattractive/ugly. He made me feel so comfortable in my own skin.

Occasionally, I would bring up an ex (DONT EVER BRING UP AN EX WITH A GUY. EVER) and he would get kinda mad. When I told him I was going out with friends he would ask "Who? Where? Guy or girl?" he would get extremely jealous if I said I was hanging out with a guy. I found it kind of cute.

One Sunday night, he said "You should make me your mcm tomorrow ;)". I didn't think he was being serious. But he sent me a snapchat of him on Monday saying "mcm worthy" I screenshot it and posted it on Instagram saying "mcm💕". That's where things started to get a little more serious (for me). I realized I really cared about him and I had felt feelings.

We liked the same things. He loved the same music as me. We liked the exact same bands. (He's the only person who has the same music taste as me) He wrestles, he likes reading, he plays guitar. I love all those things. He was perfect. I loved him.

I had just gotten out of a serious relationship with a guy that I really loved. He left me heart broken. I never thought I would be able to love or trust a guy again. I had been hurt many times. But, Derek was different. He gave me this feeling that I was wrong. I wanted him. I wanted him badly. I wanted to be able to see him in person. I wanted to tell him I thought I had feelings for him. I was just scared. I thought he was going to make fun of me and say that's stupid. I knew I was going to tell him, just not yet.