My LDR (long distance relationship)

Getting through

I was on somewhat of a vacation close to Ottawa visiting a couple of my friends for the weekend. I was on the phone with Derek quite late saturday night. We started fighting.

Him: Let me talk to Breanna. (my friend)

Me: umm. okay

Breanna: Hello?

Him: okay. I have to tell you something

Breanna: uh. okay.. what?

Him: am I on speaker?

Breanna: No

Him: promise?

Breanna: Mhm

Him: No say you promise. Pinky promise.

(It went on like that for a while)

Breanna: OKAY! just tell me!

Him: Okay. Tell Lexi. The place I'm getting drawn for is Barry's Bay.

That's where I was staying. That's where Breanna lives. When he says getting drawn to come here, he meant to come for like hunting.

(He was on speaker the whole time. I started freaking out. Sorry Derek! :p)

I grabbed the phone.

Me: ACTUALLY? OTTAWA OR BARRYS BAY?

Him: Well I COULD be getting drawn for there.

That's where I got mad. I know it's stupid. But. He got my hopes up. My heart was racing. I was smiling super big. But then he said he MIGHT be. I totally lashed out and got super pissed off because he just told Breanna that he WAS getting drawn for Barry's Bay. I told him that he got my hopes up for no reason.

One thing led to another and we broke up. But.. we kept calling eachother. While we were fighting (after I already broke up with him) he said "I fucking hate you. I'm breaking up with you" and hung up.

My heart sank.

I texted him and told him I loved him and said my goodbyes. Then he said "no. I can't do this without you. I don't want you out of my life"

I called him and said "It's over. I'm not doing this again. It's not a game. You don't just tell me you fucking hate me and then tell me you love me Derek. Bye"

We made up. We're back together. But on Wednesday, I told him I needed a break. I don't know what it was. I just needed one. So, we kinda broke up Wednesday, got back together Thursday, broke up AGAIN, now it's Friday and were back together.

This shit is confusing. But I love him