Solitude -> The Walking Dead

36

"So I basically missed Rick screaming at people like a mad man? Great, we're at war and our leader has gone completely insane." I grumbled.

Hershel looked at me with soft eyes as we stood outside the prison. After my little outburst with Dakota, I had to go calm myself elsewhere. Just looking at her makes me so angry.

I thought I had moved on from being an angry mess and that I've grown in some way. Yet it seems that, when things go bad, I go back to square one.

"He's grieving. I don't know what happened, but I think it'd be good for the both of you to talk. Get all that negative energy out."

"What, you got a psychology degree now?"

"No, but I know both of you lost something and you are both not in a good place. If we're going to survive the upcoming days, we need you at your best."

Killing walkers was what I did best. Glenn and I did that this very morning because of a breach. But while everyone played happy house, I found myself staying away. There was too much on my mind.

"He lost his wife, Hershel. What do you want me to do?" I asked.

It's not like I'm known for my great social skills and compassion. Rick and I have our own issues. I haven't forgotten him making me leave Daryl at Woodbury and he probably still hasn't forgotten that I punched him for it.

"Remind him of what he still has."

A huff left my lips as I decided to go outside the prison's fences because that's where Rick was hiding out. Hershel watched from afar as I spotted Rick by the water bridge. I'm regretting listening to Hershel already.

Rick looked up at the sound of footsteps as I walked up to him. He seemed wary of my presence, probably because he knew my mental state wasn't the best either. I stood next to him inhaling deeply.

"You shouldn't be out here, Ranger Rick."

"You're here."

"Since when do we think my decisions are the rational ones?"

A faint smile appeared in the corner of his lips. It faded rather quickly. He lost Lori and I lost Daryl. It wasn't the same kind of loss but it was enough to sympathize. I think both of us expect to see them everywhere we turn, like they never left.

"I'm not sorry for punching you."

"I'm not sorry for dragging you away from there."

I clenched my jaw although I found myself nodding at him. In an odd way, Rick and I cared for each other. Maybe it's because we kissed once or maybe we simply found comfort in each other's company.

"Are you going to be alright?" I asked.

"Yeah, I just need some time." He replied.

My teeth chewed on my lower lip as I pondered on the truth of his words. He's strong, but every person has a breaking point. I placed my hand on his shoulder as a way of comforting him.

Almost like a reflex, he put his hand on top of mine. He didn't look like he planned on letting go any time soon. I didn't mind though. His presence was soothing in a way that I didn't expect. That feeling went away at the sound of a gunshot.