Solitude -> The Walking Dead

44

"You look like shit," I looked at Ryan with worried eyes, "What happened?"

He collapsed into the chair next to me and rubbed his eyes. I bit my lip noticing his bloodstained hands. He's been overworking himself lately. Perhaps as a distraction.

"The fences almost caved in because of too many walkers piling up. Rick came up with a temporary fix." He explained.

Rick always did come through in the end. Hopefully this means he'll be more involved in the future.

I nodded. "You sure you should be on the front lines? Dorothy is due soon. She needs you more than the group."

Ryan scoffed and took off his jacket. I got up from my chair and took a bowl with water. He looked at me as I took his hands.

"We both know you don't care about Dorothy." said Ryan.

"I care about you, and your unborn kid." I pointed out.

I washed his hands of the blood and noticed how they tensed at the mention of his child. Glenn was right about Ryan being unsettled.

I just think he was wrong about the thing that was unsettling him. Ever since finding out that he had gotten Dorothy pregnant, Ryan was constantly stressed.

I squeezed Ryan's hand. "Talk to me, Ry."

He released a sigh and nodded. Whatever he was thinking about has been weighing him down. Slowly but surely wearing him out until all that was left was a tired young man.

"I just keep thinking about mom and dad." He admitted.

I tensed and let go of his hand. Of all the things he could've said, this wasn't what I expected. We didn't talk about our parents unless we had to.

Hell, I can't remember the last time that I thought of them. They were gone, and a part of me was grateful for it.

"Dad was a petty criminal, mom was an abusive alcoholic," he sighed, "It just makes me wonder, what am I gonna be?"

I frowned as he shifted uncomfortably. Nobody in our family ever acknowledged the fact that our mother loved alcohol more than she loved her kids. It was just an excuse.

Oh, your mother beat you? It must be all the booze.

No, she doesn't get to use the alcohol card. She was a shitty and cruel mother whose wrath I had to suffer more than anyone else in our family.

It was only after pushing those thoughts away, that I realized what he had said. "You can't be serious, Ryan."

He raised his eyebrows as I scoffed and pulled my chair closer to him. I looked into his eyes to make sure he was listening carefully.

"What are you gonna be? Anything that your kid needs. Our parents weren't ready for kids, and maybe you're not either but I know you'll do better." I told him.

He shook his head. "What if I'm just like them? What if I ruin my kid just like mom and dad ruined us?"

I opened my mouth to say that we weren't ruined. But I couldn't. We'll never be what we could've been if we had other parents.

"You won't. I know you'd rather die than ever harm your kid."

He leaned back in his seat and released a heavy sigh. His fingers were tapping against his thigh as he tried to collect his thoughts.

Before we could continue our conversation, Carol showed up at the front of the cell. I immediately noticed the slight discomfort on her face. Aka bad news.