When you tell the world you're mine

Chapter 10: Should've known you were trouble

Carol wasn't known for being a reckless person. She liked to be in control. She needed to be in control of things to be calm. She usually overthought all of her decisions. So she didn't know what in the hell had gotten into her to accept Rodrigo's call. She didn't know what in the hell had gotten into her to accept him coming over her house to talk. They had talked. They were done. For good this time. She couldn't lie and say that she didn't love him anymore. She was still in love with him. But over the last years, she was learning to love herself first. She saw that they didn't have much more in common like they did 8 years ago. That was bad, because for anyone looking at their relationship from the outside, they were the perfect couple. They had a beautiful love story. But the thing is, for Carol, who was actually living and putting up with all his mood swings and all the times he had let her down, they were far from it.

She was nervous and wanted to call him and make some excuse for him not come to her house. Why had she agreed with that? At first, she thought about not changing clothes. She'd be in her pajamas and have a messy bun. She didn't want him to think she was putting an effort to see him. Carol had been in this position way too many times. He was probably needy and lonely and wanted her comfort. He'd be tired of it in a few months and would start breaking her heart all over again. And why the hell she accepted it? She was reading a lot, she declared herself a feminist. Yet she was stuck in an abusive relationship for 8 fucking years. Why couldn't she just say "I'm done", and be done with it? She could see all the signals that this love story wasn't going to work. But why the hell she kept trying and forgiving over and over again? That night she decided she'd read a good feminist novel to help her see the reason and give her strength.

She looked at the clock and counted the time she had left. He'd be in her house in less than 10 minutes. Every minute that passed she regretted it more and more. She got up and opened her wardrobe to pick an outfit. She also didn't want him to think she was miserable without him. She had been for some time, she didn't sleep, didn't eat, she didn't go out and had all the symptoms of a heartache. But he didn't have to know that. Carol picked a simple outfit that was casual enough to wear at home, but that was pretentiously increasing her body parts he liked the most. 

He arrived sooner than she expected (who was she kidding? she was looking at the clock every two seconds) and she opened the gates. She crossed her arms while he parked his car in her sidewalk and she could see that he also thought about what to wear. He had a cap, his beard had grown a bit more and he left his car with that smile that melted her heart every.damn.time.

"Hello, Carolinda.", he said coming to her. He hugged her, even with her arms crossed and kissed the sweet spot in her neck he knew was one of her weakness.

"Hello.", she said. She tried to hide that her voice quavered. He noticed and smirked.
She was out of his hug as soon as he loosened it a bit. She waited for him to be completely inside her patio to lock the gates. She didn't say anything, she just walked to her living room and sat on the sofa.He followed her and sat close, but not too close.

"Where's your mom?", he asked taking his cap off.

Carol was trying to not focus on the perfume and shirt he was wearing. She had given them to him for Christmas last year.

"She's out.", her mom had slept at Flavio's last night. But that's a detail he didn't need to know.

"So... Can I got straight to the point?", he said and sat closer to her on the sofa.

She didn't answer, she just raised her eyebrow and stared at him.

"I know that I've been a total jerk to you. I know what I did is unforgivable. It was a moment of weakness and combined with alcohol I made the stupidest mistake of my life. But I also know you're the woman of my life. I love you and I've been in love with you since I was that 16 year old boy at school.", he looked sincere. But of course, every time he came running to her he looked like that. She flinched when he caught one of her hands in both of his.