First Love

4

Thina-

Pain. Pain was all I could feel right now. I just wanted to go home. I was fucking done with everything and I just- I just- I-

I don't even know anymore... Did all of this really happen? Was my mind just playing a fucking sick joke on me and I'm just dreaming?! Oh God, please tell me it's just a fucking dream.

I shifted back to shitty reality. Silence was all I could hear, apart from the ringing noise in my ears. My eyes started to sting from how many tears were piling up in my eyes. There were so many that even though there was a stream of them going down every part of my face, it still wasn't enough time for me to blink them away until more would just come. My eyes were turning into a fucking never ending waterfall. Everything was just a blur, only able to make out shapes of things.

I was driving with some random dude who saved me and for some reason looked familiar.

Why the fuck does every damn man look familiar to me?!

**"To be honest, I didn't think I'd ever see you again. Especially not like this," he said quietly.

So I do know him! The café guy?

I tried to stop crying so I could properly see him but I just couldn't.

... I didn't know what to do. This really happened... THIS REALLY FUCKING HAPPENED TO ME.

How- what- WHY?

why... why did this have to happen to me?

Fucking-

You know what? I can't even say his disgusting name. What a fucking motherfucker. I shouldn't have went with him...

I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE!

i knew i shouldn't have gone...

WHY DID I HAVE TO LISTEN TO MY STUPID MIND?! I already know DAMN well that my mind has never helped me once ever! So why would it want to help me out now?

I had realized at this point in time that I had heard sobbing.

The sobbing was coming from me. Loud, ugly, long sobs.

What the hell was I going to do? I thought miserably.

Call the cops? And what the hell would they do?! I didn't want anything to do with that man anymore. I didn't want to hear his disgusting name and I DEFINITELY didn't want to see his disgusting face ever again. He was leaving anyways. So I thought to myself, that I just wanted to forget him and everything else.

But I just want to know why? Out of all people, I got ra-

I CANT EVEN FUCKING SAY IT!

Oh God... what's going to happen to me?

What's the point in me being here anymore?

Was there even a point in the first place?

~~~

Unknown-

Shit. All her cries and sobs did were just get louder. And I didn't even know how to help her.

I needed to call the police. But she said no, didn't she? I couldn't really ask her right now, but what do I do now? Take her to my house? I tried making conversation but that just led us circling around the same neighborhood for the past thirty minutes. I needed her to tell me something.

I stopped the car and parked it on the side of the road.

I sat for a few seconds, thinking carefully of what I was going to say.