First Love

5

I woke up to yet another hideous sound ringing in my ears, my alarm clock.

I forgot I had class today. Ugh, I did not want to do anything at all today. Yet here I was, dreadfully getting out of bed and getting ready.

That was a bad habit I had, complaining and complaining over and over again about something, and I still somehow end up doing it anyways. I hated it.

It was only 5:30 a.m. and classes started at 7:00 a.m.

What? So what I wake up like two hours before classes, I prepare myself for the worst okay?

I decided to go down to the cafe to get some water and a little snack. It wouldn't take that long to walk there right?

It was almost across campus and I didn't have any more money to get a bus ticket so that only left walking an option.

... wait a minute.

THEN HOW THE HELL WAS I GOING TO EAT NOW?!

Shit I didn't even think about that! I hit myself in the face for being so stupid. I forgot I had no money to even by myself food. Oh thank god my classes were already paid for and I wasn't paying monthly like other students.

Or was that where I went wrong?

Oh my gosh! I don't know what to do anymore!

Maybe Soyi is awake? Maybe I can ask her help get me a part-time job later, I'll repay her some how. Sure I have free food here at school but my schedules don't add up with the times of the cafeteria, for right now I can only get lunches these past few weeks.

Oh Lord, please help me.

I was in the middle of the hallway having a panic attack, not even noticing other people around me. Very pathetic.

I went to the hall's restroom around the corner and called Soyi.

I waited to for her to pick up.

The line was still ringing, and ringing.... and ringing.

"The person you are trying to reach-"

Ugh! She's not answering. I'll just call her after class.

I ended up going to class with an empty stomach as usual. I hope she's okay, maybe we can eat lunch together.

~~~

After four hours of class, I started getting dizzy again and distracted. I realized I hadn't really eaten since Gummy had gave me that unexpected meal yesterday in my dorm. I wonder what he was doing. Maybe he had work? He didn't tell me anything about his job though, I think. And food was honestly the last thing I would have thought to be the source of my problems right now. Also, does Gummy ever eat too? Where's Soyi?

OH

MY

GOSH!

Will you SHUT UP ALREADY?!

Ugh, I know, my head is all over the place. I can't stop worrying about everything.

I sat on the steps of the class building, holding my head with my hands, elbows standing against my knees. I tried breathing. In and out, in and out. I just needed to calm down first before I could try and figure anything out. I hadn't even noticed my hands were getting clammy and shaky either. Why did I have to be such a nervous wreck all the time?

I stayed there for the next five minutes or so and tried calling Soyi again.

Oh, please answer Soyi. The line started ringing.