A Harrowing Tale (New Amsterdam)

Lauren- Part Two

For a few minutes after that adrenaline-pumping scenario we had just made it through, made me feel like things were finally returning back to normal. Helen apologized profusely for the way things went down after telling Max about my addiction. Although initially I felt nothing but anger towards her, that emotion turned to gratitude for saving my life. She in turn, told me if I hadn't been here Max would not have Georgia or Luna right now. Honestly, everything had come full circle and it felt good.

It was true I came into the visit thinking it would be some mundane discussion where I would tell Max I was leaving, he would try to talk me out of it and I would feel nothing but guilt. Instead, we didn't end up talking about any of it. When I met Max at the door, he had this panic-stricken look on his face. I threw everything out the window and focused on being a doctor.

I actually didn't mind not talking about the real reason I had shown up at his door. If anything, this moment made me realize I had been a little too premature about leaving New Amsterdam. It was almost like the heavens opened up and showed me why I shouldn't leave. Which is when I happily hopped into the ambulance carrying Helen, Max, Georgia, and baby.

Even though I had been back to the hospital earlier, I had avoided everyone I possibly could when I was trying to track Max down. Besides him, Floyd was the only other person I wanted to talk to right now, maybe because I didn't quite know what to say to everyone else about why I wanted to quit. 

For the moment, I would revel in the fact Georgia woke up to meet her daughter. Even Helen looked happier than I had seen her in a while. If I had caused any part of her unhappiness and worry, I knew I had a lot of improving to do to make sure I was a better friend in the future.

"Lauren? Would you mind filling in the EMTs that Ms. Goodwin is awake, and everything is prepared for when we get to New Amsterdam?" I nodded at her, more than eager to put my thoughts to action, peeked my head through the small window where the paramedics were, and relayed everything Helen told me minutes before.

I was so focused on telling them, I didn't notice another ambulance coming right at us until it was too late. We were a little under a block to the hospital, heading through the intersection when we collided. I did my best to hang on to anything but honestly had no time to respond as my head slammed against the roof of the emergency vehicle. I began to lose consciousness as it shifted and I tumbled out and landed awkwardly on the asphalt. The smell of burning rubber was the last thing I smelled before I lost consciousness.

After that point, I felt nothing but confusion about what had taken place. I didn't know if anyone had been injured or killed or why we were at the point we were at, why I couldn't seem to wake up fully when all I wanted was to know I had a good night's sleep in my own bed when my whole body felt heavy, rather unmoving, and I was still slipping back into a heavy sleep once more.

I'm pretty sure that scenario repeated a handful of times, although I couldn't remember. It only felt like a weird dream where voices were garbled and it felt like they were talking through a speaker instead of in a normal voice.

I willed myself to open my eyes over and over again, but even focusing on coming back to the world was extremely tiring and I continued to fall back into the darkness surrounding me. Voices faded, not replaced by a long mirror appearing in front of me.

Like I was testing my range of motion, I held up my left hand first then my right as if I couldn't believe I was finally moving. As I moved back into the reflection, my mouth briefly fell open realizing I was dressed in a familiar off-white, quarter sleeve shirt, and jeans. Again, I tilted my head to the side to check that I could still move around. The only thing I couldn't do, I found out, was find my voice. My mouth moved but nothing came out, even after putting my hand against my neck by my vocal cord.

Okay, Lauren. Don't panic. I peered into the mirror again at what seemed like a normal reflection. Why aren't you able to talk? Are you asleep? Were you hurt? Are you sick?

Being hurt seemed like the most logical conclusion I kept coming back to. I kept hearing this annoying beeping which was an all too familiar sound from working in a hospital every day. One thing I knew was whatever happened, had me hooked up to a heart monitor. But why? Why was I hooked up to a monitor or was that somebody else? Did someone find me in a moment of peril? Did I do this to myself? Before I could answer those questions, I felt my focus blur momentarily then return to normal. 

When I looked up at the ceiling, I was no longer looking at the same one as before in my dreams. This one was real, not peeking out from the darkness like before. Now if I could just get someone's attention, although whenever I moved my eyes to the side, it was sending pain through my head as I tried to look around the room. This can't be normal. If I was working, I wouldn't be staring at the ceiling. Footsteps carried away what focus I had left as I heard the name of a familiar colleague being called in the distance. 

"Casey." I was well aware I had heard this voice too but my eyes couldn't tell who it was as I felt my eyes growing heavy, not by choice but whatever they had me on right now was kicking my butt.."Page Dr. Candelario. Let her know Dr. Bloom is awake."