paranoia // david dobrik

#4

roia jean king

"i'm just saying, maybe you should just tell him." liz sighs as she throws the chocolate chips into the bowl.

"liz if you say that one more time, i will poison this stir-fry and take us both out."

"but just hear me out. he clearly likes you. he blatantly said that in the car yesterday."

"he didn't say he liked me. he just said he was competing for me."

"and what the fuck else is that supposed to mean? huh?"

"it means that he's competing for my attention for the vlogs. the people love me." i shrug, flipping my hair over my shoulder.

"yeah. sure. for the vlog. that's why he brought up that he was competing with two other people who are in love with you."

"hey. you and tom aren't actually in love with me."

"bold of you to assume tom isn't in love with you."

i sigh, turning the stove off, placing the pan on an opposite burner and putting the lid on. turning over to the rice cooker, pressing the on button and placing the pot into the cooker.

"yeah...yeah i know." i mumble as i press the buttons on the machine, making the blue light on the side of the cooker turn on.

liz's hands wrap around my torso as she places her chin on my shoulder, leaning her head against mine.

"hey, i'm sorry. i know it bothers you."

i shake my head, turning to face her and wrapping my arms around her shoulders, enveloping the girl into a hug.

"it doesn't bother me so much as it makes me feel guilty. i mean, we've talked about it after he told me. and i told him how i didn't feel the same. and he just...took it. and he told me that no matter what i felt, he'd still be there. and he'd still love me. and god he must hate me sometimes."

liz shakes he head, pulling away from me and cradling my face in her hands.

"he doesn't hate you. and he will never hate you. that's real love, babe. real love is putting the other person first, because all you care about is their happiness. that boy loves you, ro. and all he wants is for you to be happy. and of course he wants you to be happy with him, but he knows that won't happen. and he doesn't hate you for it. you can't control the way that you feel and you don't get to choose who you love. if you did, i'd most definitely be in love with you or natalie because harrison makes me want to throw myself out of a window sometimes." she sighs happily, nodding her head at me.

i laugh, shaking my head and turning towards the counter to dip my finger into the bowl of brownie batter.

"hey! don't touch the brownies. you have a weird baking curse."

"and you have a weird cooking curse."

"we make absolutely no sense. did you know that?"

"oh yeah, i've known that for a long time."

laughter erupts throughout the empty kitchen and the oven dings, indicating it's readiness. liz slides the pan filled with brownie batter into the oven and shuts the door, twisting the timer that was resting on the kitchen counter.

"but i'm serious, i think you should tell him. what's the harm?"

"there are multiple harms. for instance, he doesn't look at me that way. if he did, he would've made a move a long time ago. and let's say he does like me back, what if we start dating and then things get weird and nothing is the same? he's one of my best friends, i can't lose him. and on top of all of that, i couldn't hurt tom like that. what if i start to date david and he hates me for it? tom can barely stand david. something about his "big ego and rich kid complex" which, by the way, isn't all that bad."