After my first panic attack a couple of weeks or months my mum went on holiday with her partner it was the first time she hadnt left me with someone and it was my final year in sixth form, I remember praying not to have a panic attack in school or at least around others.
It was the due date of one of our courseworks and I felt proud of this one mainly because I did it early (by mistake I believe) so I gave it in and she scanned over it and handed it to me and asked me to check if I did everything that I was supposed to and I just felt the feeling of dread and fear, my head started to swim with thoughts i stuttered a sorry and that ill double check and she said she will be back, i remember my heart pounding as i looked for an answer for soomething i didnt understand, she came back and asked me if I found it and I said sorry that I couldnt find it and that I will redo it and get it back to her and she walked away.
I kept my head down and started at my paper telling myself to calm own and not to panic here, I kept having thoughts that i was stupid and others thought so as well ive been doing this for almost two years and i still dont understand it. I felt like I was a glass and the anxiety was water and it was at the very edge of the cup and was nearly spilling over, I had tears in my eyes and made eye contact with a friends and she said "aww dont cry if you cry i'll cry too". That sentence got to me so I stood up and sped walked out the room towards the bathroom and our bathrooms have codes i tried to enter the code over and over failing I heard footsteps and started to panic and begin to hyperventilate the same girl grabbed my shoulders and tured me towards her and told me to breathe all i could think of is getting away from there the teacher arrived with my other teacher and told the others to leave as i calmed down.
( I really hate when i have a panic attack my nose gets all runny and I have an ugly crying face) after I calmed down the teacher explain that they came out her office and saw I was missing and asked where I had gone and what happened, my teacher advised I have something sweet since I just used a lot of energy, I cleaned myself and went back to my seat feeling embarressed. We sat in silence since the lesson was almost over and I was still shaking from the adrenaline since I hadnt completely calmed down.
