Space Johnny

Something Four Me

"Beep boop blap we are here." said RC, as they landed on the dating sim plizzanet. "Deeting sus plent" read Johnny. "Didn't we already make a joke about planet names?" asked RC. "Alright. Toots will go see if the air is breathable." said Johnny, shoving Toots outside. Toots then took a deep breath. "It seem pretty breathable to me-" started Toots, before having a seizure and curling up into a ball. "Ooooh, damn it. This air helmet is gonna smush my hair." said Johnny. "My sensors indicate that the air is breathable and Toots is just sensitive to bright light." said RC. "But it's dark." said Johnny. "But wait isn't everything dark for you, Toots?" said RC. "Maybe we shouldn't think about it too much. That's what mama would say." Said Johnny.

"Hey, speaking of mama. WHOA MAMA." said Johnny, noticing a small crowd of cripples, congregating in an empty area. "Hey there cripple with fine nipples. What do you say to letting Dr. Bravo take a look at your wounds?" said Johnny, talking to a cripple with no legs. "What are all these girls doing out here in the middle of nowhere? Seems pretty suspicious is you ask me." said RC. "I didn't ask you." Said Johnny. "Hey Toots, you'd fit right in here, everybody is disabled!" said Johnny. There was no response. "Toots?" said Johnny, looking around. Toots was busy parallel parking the ship in a handicapped parking spot which was actually on top of a bunch of cripples. "You can put that on ya toast, Johnny." said Toots, swoocing on over.

Johnny jumped out of the ship and landed by doing 690000000000000000000000000 poses. "Uh Johnny you've been posing for the past 6 minutes can we get on with this already?" asked RC."Wow look at that guy go! He's been posing for nearly 6 years now!" said a cripple. "WHAT?!" said Toots and RC. "A year is about a minute on our planet." said another cripple. "How does that make any sense?" said RC. "Oh, somebody broke the skip button and it's stuck on, so a whole year goes by in a minute now." said a handymannysome looking fellow.

"Ah, a fellow chad. How does it go?" said Johnny. "What?" said the fellow. "Hey, we're looking for two women. Have you seen them?" said Toots, holding up a bank. He was successfully able to steal the money because everyone in the bank was a cripple. "Basically everyone here other than me is a woman and a cripple." said the man. "What about her?" said Johnny, pointing at a seemingly uncrippled girl. "I broke my fingernail in 3rd grade." said the cripple. "Wait a sec, don't that sound familiar?" said Toots. "Oh yeah! My momma died to a broken fingernail." said Johnny. "Your mom isn't even dead." said RC. "Then who died to the broken fingernail?" said Johnny starting a family guy cutaway gag.

"Alright, we got about 30 seconds before he comes back to reality, so we gotta quickly remember why that sounds familiar." said RC, searching his data banks before they were robbed by Toots. "Oh yea, she's one of the ho- I mean 'fine women' who we need to 'acquire'." said RC before pulling out one of the Hoe Files. "Hey, that's a sweet pic of me." said Misha. "Anyway, we have a proposition for you." started RC. "HAHAHAHAHAHA! Ahhhh good times." said Johnny, coming out of the family guy cutaway gag.

"Riiiight, well if you come with us, we can give you a dollar." said RC. "Oh, well money is kinda useless to me because we live in a society, but you're like the only guys around here other than Kenji here, but he hates all women so I'm kinda stuck with you at this point." said Misha. "Ahhhh, charisma 100 strikes again." said Johnny. "Listen, I'm also gonna come along cuz you're literally the only guys on this entire planet other than me." said Kenji. The other cripples then went into hibernation. "Good boob, Spongebye." said Kenji, using snake's down-b above their hibernation grounds.