The Umbrella Academy x Reader - Oneshots

Ghost! Ben x Reader - Interaction

Warnings: drugs (Klaus), sexual comments (also by Klaus)
Word count: 2 259

"You know what's funny about all this?"

Klaus looked up from the joint he was rolling, his bright eyes sparkling questioningly.

"What," he asked.

"That thanks to dear Ben being dead, you could be telling me anything you like and I have absolutely no way of knowing if you are being honest or not," accusingly you crossed your arms in front of your chest.

Behind Klaus' back Ben was hiding his face in his hands. But of course you could not see that, because, as you had just pointed out, Ben was dead, and the only one able to communicate with him was Klaus.

"Does this face look like it could tell a single lie?"

The Séance blinked up at you with pretentious innocence, before sucking the joint between his lips, flicking the lighter open, and lighting the drug.

"Yes!"

Only to Klaus, the single word answer was in chorus, since only he was able to hear both yours as well as Ben's voice.

"Okay, fair enough," he admitted, and got up from the floor rather unceremoniously. "Listen. I swear by my mother's life-"

"You don't even know you mother," you interrupted, causing Klaus to nod in agreement.

"-by Dave's life-"

"He's dead."

"Don't you dare say by my life," Ben threw in, making Klaus hiss into his direction, which earned him some raised eyebrows from you.

"-by all the waffles in the world," Klaus allowed a short pause, making sure neither you nor Ben had anything to correct about that, "that little tentacle monster over here," he gestured over his shoulder to where Ben was standing, "totally likes you. Bet he would bang you if he could!"

You rolled your eyes and shook your head, while Ben gasped in horror, and tried pushing Klaus by the shoulder, only for his hand to go straight through the living body.

"Nonono, seriously, please (y/n)," Klaus pleaded, knowing too well that Ben would literally haunt him for days if he ruined this for him "he does like you. He never shuts up about you, always talks about how perfect you hair is and stuff, probably spies on you while you're in the shower-"

You took a deep breath, ready to walk away. Klaus had been an annoying asshole since you had first met him, and it was only his luck that you liked his idiocy enough to stay around, but for now it was enough.

"I don't," Ben whined, "tell her I don't you idiot!"

"Okay, okay, calm down, lover boy," Klaus groaned over his shoulder into Ben's direction, "(y/n), he doesn't spy on you while you're in the shower, he's very insistent on that point."

"Great, anything else," the sarcasm in your voice was well audible, to both Ben and Klaus.

Still fearing the punishment Ben might think of if he did not convince you that Klaus had not just made this up, he finally decided to be a little more serious.

"Yes, actually," Klaus quickly spoke before you had the chance to walk away, "He likes how you always pet the neighbor's cat. He said you call it Mister Snowflake, because it has a white, snowflake-like star on its forehead."

Confused you furrowed your eyebrows. You had never told anyone about Mister Snowflake, so how did Klaus know this?

"And Ben is totally a sucker for your piano playing. He told me he watched you play that concert grand in the train station for hours. Always Beethoven or Bach. He hummed the Goldberg Variations for days," Klaus took a drag of his joint, and licked his lips thoughtfully before allowing the smoke to form twirling clouds as it escaped his mouth, "Ben likes the sound of the pedal. He always complains that in recordings he can't hear the pedal work, but when you play on the old concert grand, he can stand so close that he can hear the mechanics."