»Votre coeur est-il toujours mien? Je veux pleurer parfois. Tu me manques.«
»Is your heart still mine? I wanna cry sometimes. I miss you«
May 2, 2002
"I still can't believe that she's really gone. One of my best friends since high school, fifteen years of friendship. I remember all the laughs we used to share, all the tears we shed together, and all the children we brought into this world. Lisa was more than just a friend, she was a healer."
"Yes, she was an extremely goofy woman, but she always knew how to comfort someone. How to make someone actually feel loved. Lisa was a caring mother to Snow, and an amazing aunt to Tionne, Rozonda, and I's kids. Always looking out for us and vice versa."
"Within her, I knew that angels can in fact walk this Earth. And to Lisa Lopes herself, I miss you so much. I'll never, ever forget you and your beautiful brown eyes. Especially your left one, which always shone bright through the darkest days."
"Goodbye for now, but not forever, Lisa" I cried while saying my speech. It was hard for me to go up there, but I had to. Lisa was my best friend, and I can't just not honor her. I carefully placed a white rose on top of her closed casket, and headed back to my seat to cry some more.
"Aunty Carmen, I miss my mommy!" Snow cried the loudest of them all, burying her face in my dress. I held her head, trying my best to comfort her. I understand how she feels, since I lost my mother around her age.
"Shh, it's okay. Your mommy misses you too." I cried along with her. I have taken up the offer to raise Snow for Lisa. It's only right that I do. It will be hard to help her with her loss, but I'll try my best.
°
September 9, 2002
"Have a fun day at school, I love y'all!" I shouted and waved to Diane, Snow, Olivia, and Donald. It's easier to drop them off since they all go to the same school. Age difference plays a role in that, with Diane and Snow being in the fourth grade. And Olivia and Donald being in the third. All I have to do is get Julien to preschool, and I'm all alone. I planned to go through all of my stuff to find old stuff of Lisa and I. Any photos, gifts, anything in remembrance of her. I still can't believe that she's no longer alive. Lisa's dead. That doesn't even sound real.
I pulled up to Julien's preschool and quickly dropped him off. As fast as I could, I got home. I couldn't help but notice a dead rose in front of my door. I didn't know if someone left this here on purpose, but I did know that I didn't want it. I decided to toss it to the side and enter my home anyways.
It was dangerously cold for some reason. I don't remember turning the AC on before I left. I started to shiver, and quickly turned the knob to the warm side. While I was doing that, combat boots heavily pounded on the floor behind me. I stopped in my tracks, deciding if I should turn around. It's now or never. Thank goodness I still kept my purse on me, which held a sharp pocket knife and pepper spray. Ever since DeVanté broke into my home to try and impregnate me again, I carried one. No one, I mean no one is safe in these streets.
