Help Me

Florida

I decided to move 1,000 miles away from my siblings, my parents, and my cousins. Even though I knew Kent was abusive, part of me thought the abuse was okay because it wasn't extreme. Well he hasn't blacked my eye, he hasn't broken a bone, all my teeth are still in my mouth. Truth is, abuse is abuse it doesn't matter how extreme it is.
It is now 2014, I'm eighteen years old and I'm living in Florida, by myself with Kent. No parents, no friends, no siblings, no cousins. Everything was great at first, the weather was beautiful, we had a pool in the backyard that we could go to whenever we want, we explored because everything was new to us. I got a job at the mall in a clothing store called Nautica. Kent was happy because I could make my own money and help him with bills. Well, I thought he was happy. The job was going well, I liked my co workers and it was a pretty fun and laid back environment. One of my co workers that worked there was named Sammy. He was cool, but he was a pretty boy and I never approached him because I didn't want him to flirt and I had a boyfriend. Until one day, my other co worker named Olivia came up to talk to me, asked me where I was from, how old I was .. basically my background. I told her I was from NY and my boyfriend and I moved here not too long ago. Then she went on to tell me that her and her boyfriend moved here together and I was like that's what's up, where does your boyfriend work? She turned around and pointed to Sammy, and I was like oh shit because I would have never guessed they were together, they didn't act like it. Sammy was black and Olivia was Spanish, so I thought since we were all pretty much new out here we could all hang out together. That day I went home and brought it up to Kent, at first he wasn't feeling it because of course Sammy was another man and he felt intimidated but I let him know, Sammy was going to be his friend, Olivia was mine. He finally agreed to have them come over. We all got pretty close and started doing everything together, going out, working together (except Kent), they came over and were sleeping over almost all the time. Then one night, Kent showed out. We were all in the living room and Kent had gotten angry about something Olivia said, it was about us at the job, laughing and joking with our other co worker, Jason. I knew Kent was going to have a fit because she mentioned another guy and me in the same sentence. Kent got up and went to the room and I could tell he was mad, Sammy asked what his problem was and I said I didn't know, so Sammy just shrugged and went on the balcony. I waited there for five minutes because I really didn't want to approach Kent. I got up anyway and left Sammy and Olivia in the front, while I headed towards the back to the bedroom. I opened the room door to see Kent sitting on the bed.
"What took you so long to come in here?" He asked.
I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know." I replied.
"It's because you always want to be in Sammy's face." He snarled.
"What are you talking about? Sammy was on the balcony and I was talking to Olivia."
This night is another blurry night for me, most of the arguments Kent and I had were little or him accusing me of something, or me bringing up something he didn't like and him getting mad. I remember laying on the bed, I don't know why, I think it was because I told him I wasn't going back out there, this infuriated him. He came over to the bed, used both of his hands, lifted me off the bed and threw me to the floor. Once again I was shocked because company was in the next room, I didn't think he would show out with people being so close, but Kent was starting to care less and less about who was around. He then took my duffle bag filled with clothes and threw it at my head while I was on the floor and left the room. I started crying because I was hurt and he left scratches on my back from picking me up off the bed. I felt worthless, like nothing. It was so easy for him to do, without any remorse. I recomposed myself and went into the living room, Kent was on the balcony with Sammy and Olivia was sitting on the couch on her phone. She looked up and looked at me and could tell something was wrong.
"What happened in there?"She asked concerned.
I just teared up and lifted my shirt so she could see the scratches.
"What the fuck Nyla! He did that? Go tell Sammy, he does not like when men put their hands on females! She shrieked as she got up from the couch.
"No!" I pleaded with her. "He will only get more mad and when you guys leave it will be worse, please don't say anything just act normal." I said. She shook her head in disgust.
And with that, that's what we did. We acted normal and Olivia and Sammy spent the night. When it was time for us to go to sleep, I laid on my side and Kent laid on his, no apology, or a touch, nothing.
Kent's parents ended up moving back into their condo & Kent and I had to go find an apartment of our own. At this time, we were no longer talking to Sammy and Olivia because as time passed, we noticed that they were drama filled and even though Kent and I weren't perfect, we weren't going to let another couples drama interfere with us, so we cut them off. We found an apartment about a couple months after his parents came back to Florida, we were happy because it was our own apartment. Around this time, I reconnected with my old friend Ali who lived in Florida now too, about 20 minutes from Kent and I new apartment. Things got worse in the apartment even though they should have gotten better. He was much more controlling, it was hard to go to work because when he got mad, he wouldn't take me to work, he would take my phone and keep it for as long as he wanted so I couldn't call for help, he would leave and leave me in the house, with no car and no place to go. Eventually I found out I was pregnant ... again.
   This pregnancy I was absolutely scared to death to tell my mother about, for a number of reasons. The first reason being she told me not to get pregnant again with him. The second being I was about 5 months pregnant right now, I had no one to go to the abortion clinic with me when I first found out, and I felt dirty having another abortion. So I kept it. When I told my mom I was pregnant again, she was mad, so mad that she said she was going to stop talking to me and would never help me again. Those are the words I did not want to hear, my mother was my everything and now I really felt alone. So my mother ignored me for the rest of my pregnancy and I was so afraid I lost her for the rest of my life. I stopped working and Kent started working two security guard jobs, meaning he was pretty much never home and when he did come home he was tired. Although him putting his hands on me had seized because I was pregnant, it didn't stop the arguments .. or the infidelity. To fast forward, I ended up having a C-section and having a beautiful little boy who we named Nicholas aka Nic. The abuse sky rocketed after me having him.
   Kent was at work and I was home with Nicholas, recovering from my C-section. I noticed Kent's old iPhone on the dresser and decided to look through it because I was curious. He went through my phone so much, but I never touched his. I looked at his photos and the messages but there was nothing in it. Dig deeper I clicked on his email next and bingo there was everything. There were emails connected to dating sites. I clicked the email and it brought me to his dating site profile. Women. Lots and lots of women. He was talking to these girls and it dated all the way back to 2013. (We started dating in 2012) I started reading the conversations and he was telling girls to send him photos, where he lived, how he was single and lived alone (Lol), where he could meet them. There was a convo about him going to see this girl one night, it was a night we argued.. he left me in the house with Nicholas for hours. Turns out it was to see this girl, in the convo it ends when he tells her where he is parked. My stomach began to turn. There was another convo of him telling a girl to come over and she described my cat to a perfect T like she had been there before. (Although there were times where I did talk to a guy on Facebook or in text, it was never sexual, I never went to go hang out with them, never even kissed a guy while I was with Kent. I talked to guys when Kent and I fought, it was just better to talk to someone else sometimes.) But back to the story, I went back to his email because I knew there was more. I clicked on the Facebook notifications and it brought me to his profile, a page that was supposed to be deactivated by the way. The messages showed him talking to a girl named Kourtney, he asked her to send him naked videos and she did. I saw videos of this nasty ass girl taking her clothes off ( I had just had a baby and was very, very insecure about my body) and touching herself. I stopped playing the video, I'm livid at this point. I called his mother and told her everything and she basically said that it was nasty of him but to leave it alone. Bitch! Leave it alone? What ! I knew she wouldn't be much help anyway, but I told her I would and not to bring it up to him and she didn't. But I was going to bring it up, F that !
   Authors Note: Around this time, Nic is 4 or 5 months. My C section is pretty much healed but a little tender. Nic has already seen my mom (she started talking to me again) once she saw how cute he was & fell in love  ☺️ .. I had taken a plane to Ny when he was 3 months, Kent stayed in Florida. When I came back the apt., was clean which was unusual because I did the cleaning. But I guess I should have known he had people over when I went to go visit my family in Ny with Nic, which brings us back to the day I found all the messages in his email.
   Kent came home from work and got undressed, took a shower and laid in the bed, he thought I was sleeping but I wasn't I was contemplating on whether I was going to bring it up tonight. Nic was sleeping in the bassinet next to the bed. I sat up in bed and asked Kent if he ever cheated on me.
"No. Are you seriously asking me that, I'm always at work." He lied straight to my face.
"Kent, you're lying! I went through your IPhone and saw all the messages on the dating sites and on your facebook that you told me you deactivated!" I raised my voice but not loud enough to wake up Nic. I fucked up, and at this point he sat up in bed.
"Why are you going through my shit! What is wrong with you, you just going looking for shit all the time! Sleep on the floor, get off the bed." Before I could even move, he got up and grabbed my leg pulling me to the floor. The floor was carpeted so I was getting rug burn as he dragged me out of the room, I put my arm out to hold onto the ledge of the door and he started stomping on my leg when he realized I was holding on, then he yanked me so hard my fingers let go of the ledge. Now he was dragging me to the living room and I was on my back kicking him and he let go of me and got in my face.
"And don't fucking come back in the room." He yelled.
"Let me get Nicholas."
"No, fuck you." He turned and walked into the room and closed the door. I got the pre paid phone that I hid earlier in the day and texted Aly asking if she could come over and get me.
Yeah boo, on my way. She texted back.
I walked to the room and told Kent to let me get Nic or I'm calling the cops. He yanked open the door and shoved past me.
"You calling the cops? Nah Ima call the cops, get all your shit and go! Take Nic and take all your shit!" He yelled while dialing 911, he then took my stuff and started throwing it outside and putting it near the dumpster. The cops came about 10 minutes later, and then Aly and he boyfriend came shortly after that, I was outside talking to the cops and Aly got out the car.
"Hey boo, you okay?" She asked concerned. I just nodded my head.
"Unfortunately ma'am even though both of your names are on the lease, you need to leave. And since you're friend is here we will stay here and watch that nothing happens, you can go get whatever stuff you need and we will go in with you." The officer said to me.
"Okay." I mumbled. I went to go get the stuff that I could fit in Ali's car as well as Nicholas. At first, Kent tried to get Nicholas to stay with him because he knew that would hurt me but the officer said no.
"Look man, she's already leaving. Let her take the baby and relax." Is what the officer said to Kent. And with that I left the apartment that was supposed to be ours, the apt that he brought those girls to. I left with no money, no job, and a baby.