A Fighting Chance

𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵

"So Angel, y'ain't much of a talker, huh? You've been quiet all this time. Too quiet if you ask me." Alex rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

"Oh! I - I am, but that's because there's nothing much to talk about... For now, all I can think of are our safety and survival." Angel replied bashfully while filling his bag with packs of nuts and energy bars.

"I know right, it's not like there's anybody left to think about other than ourselves." Alex took a deep, heavy breath, " ...but that's just me. I mean, leaving a...76 years old on a wheelchair alone back at home while the pandemic is going on doesn't really left you anything to think about." His voice was a little bit shaken, but obviously in despair. He couldn't help but think about his grandfather's fate, the only one he have left.

Poor pops. I'm sorry I'm not there for you. I wonder, if you ever made it. Hell, you can't even hold a glass of water properly, let alone running away from those fuckers.

"Hey..." Angel put his hand slowly and gently on Alex's shoulder, worried he might flinch with discomfort.

"You've been bottling that sadness for a while, didn't you...?"

He's a little startled when Angel asked him such question. "Bottlin' my sadness? For what? It's not like I'm close enough with pops to even begin with. He's way to soft for my likin', kept asking me my day and all, like everyday isn't the same for me."

"But he's all you had, and it's okay for you to feel sad. I think... I know you do. Nobody's going to judge you. Everyone here have their own personal losses to grieve and you shoving away all of that will not help you cope... at least not completely."

Alex's eyes started to well with frustrated tears. He gritted his teeth while tilting his head high up, blinking the tears away.

"You know what? I regret that I never got a chance to say how much I love him, how I love the smell of his cooking so much it'd wake me up from sleep. How I missed listening him said to me that I'm not a bad person, I just need a different approach. How he's never disappointed in me for making wrong decisions over and over again. Fuck this outbreak." His voice started to crack as he struggle to finish each of his words between sobs.

"And now everything's too late. I'll never know if he ever make it. I - I'm not there for him when he needed me the most...fuck me. I'll never be useful, Jesse is correct. He's always been." Alex continued as his voice is filled with deep regret.

"Hey come on now. You're the reason this group is still surviving. Without you stalling that crazy officer back then, we might have lost Taylor. We need you here, as our backbone. To remind us why we live to fight for another day. What Jesse said will never define who you are deep inside. You know, there might be a zombie outbreak right now, but I'm glad I'm surviving through it with you." Angel affirmed Alex with two soothing caresses on the back.

"...Did you practice your pep talk infront of the mirror or what? That's cheesy as fuck." Alex punched Angel's shoulder good naturedly as he plastered a worn out smile on his lips.

"Not really, that's the same pep talk I used for everyone since they said that's a good one." Angel chuckled sheepishly and offers Alex a hand.

"Well too bad that didn't really help me. What would really help is if you could grab me a chocolate bar because this piece of shit is hungry after all that whimperin'." Alex smirked, his eyes fixed on a rack stocked with chocolates.

"Well I will... but not until you stop calling yourself bad things, you're more than that, at least for me." Angel said while smoothing his uniform.

"A'ite, a'ite, so bossy, but hey, I appreciate you man." Alex grinned and walks away to gather supplies.

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