Paper Scars || camren

Chapter One

Today was the day. It was the day Lauren was going to reunite with her group Fifth Harmony for their 2014 tour. A lot had happened over the past few months on break and, while she stayed connected with three of the four other girls, there was a hint of nervousness that wouldn't go away about seeing her.

All possible outcomes poured through her mind, almost fighting with each other to grab Lauren's attention. It was like her head was already spinning and she hadn't even seen her yet. This went on for hours, until she heard the flight attendant's voice notifying the passengers of their soon arrival. Her breath hitched as she realized how close she was to seeing her again. Lauren felt a hand on her shoulder as she turned to see her mother, Clara.

"Are you alright, sweetheart? You look a little pale." She touched the back of her hand to Lauren's forehead. "I know you're nervous," she sighed. It had been obvious to Clara and her husband about the issues Lauren was having. "It will be okay. You didn't spend all of your time away, making all this progress, for nothing."

Lauren forced a smile for her mom and grabbed her hand. "I know it wasn't for nothing." She whispered. As much as she wanted to believe herself, she knew this wouldn't be easy, no matter how hard she'd tried.

-

Lauren felt her throat close as she got closer to the airport lobby where she was to meet her. It felt like she was slowly suffocating. Her mother kept a constant reassuring hand on her shoulder as they walked together, whispering words of encouragement into her ear. Lauren admitted it helped a little. That was until she saw her. Their eyes met instantly, almost as if they could sense each other in the enormous room immediately. She couldn't bring herself to look at her for more than a second, the flashbacks entering her mind. Before she knew it, she felt two petite arms around her. There was a scent of vanilla embroidered in the small girl as she breathed to take it in. Camila.

They stayed like that for a while, entwined in each other's arms. Nothing was said, as it felt like hours. They both missed each other, even if they didn't admit it, and they were glad to be in each other's arms again. They could always feel the world around them fall silent when they were together. Lauren felt Camila exhale as she realized she'd been holding her breath the entire time. She pulled away and backed up a little, remembering all the progress she made during her break.

Camila smiled at her. "I missed you. Where have you been?" She asked, referring to the lack of contact between them. She noticed Lauren suddenly look at Clara and fake a smile as she turned back.

"I've just been busy, Camila." Lauren looked down as she saw the disappointment on Camila's face, hurt by the lack of honesty. She heard her mother begin to tell her and Sinu how they went on a vacation for a while, but Camila's eyes never left Lauren.

The rush of fans relieved the awkward situation, and both Lauren and Clara were relieved. Camila seemed to forget the conversation after a few photos as she met more fans.

-

A couple of days had passed and Camila, unlike the others, was starting to question Lauren's behavior. When she asked the others about it, all she got in reply was an "I don't know" or a "She seems fine to me". She'd also noticed how Clara had to pull Lauren out at certain times for a couple of minutes, but the group didn't question that either. If that wasn't enough, Lauren seemed fine with the others but when it came to Camila, she went cold. Her emotions iced over. She wasn't mean, necessarily, but rather appeared sad and distant.

The moms had all gone out to eat together with the girls. Lauren had decided to stay home, as she wasn't feeling up to it. She was dressed in her pajamas, watching a movie, when she heard a knock at the door. She got up, confused at the memory of putting a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the doorknob. Opening the door, she found Camila standing there, dressed up, with her hand on her hip. Before Lauren could make up an excuse to shut the door, Camila entered the room, looking around.

"Wow. This looks like fun." She gestured to the half-eaten ice cream on the nightstand. "Way better than spending time with your family and your friends, huh?" Lauren made a move to say something, but was cut off by Camila. "Way better than spending time with me, right? Anything's better than that." She waited for Lauren to speak for herself, fed up with the excuses.

Lauren stayed silent for a moment, obviously uncomfortable. Camila hadn't known what she'd been through the past couple of months. She'd hoped she would never find out, either. "I've just been really—"

Camila interrupted. "Tired? You've just been really tired lately." She sighed. "Lauren, what's up? What's with you? You won't talk to me." She watched Lauren look down. She moved closer and brought Lauren's chin up with her index finger. "You won't look at me." She paused. "You won't touch me." She said quietly.

Lauren moved back. "I'm just..." She swallowed, pushing tears back. "I'm feeling pretty sick, Camila." She saw Camila roll her eyes and cursed herself for not coming up with a better excuse.

"Camila." She spoke. "That's another thing. What happened to Camz?" She searched for an answer in Lauren's eyes. "What... happened?" She spoke slowly, pleading to be filled in on what everyone else but her knew. "I thought you were special to me." She spoke, reminding Lauren of the interview where she'd expressed that.

"Me too." Lauren whispered. She felt a tear stream down her face, but wiped it away quickly, hoping Camila didn't notice.

"Hey." Camila moved closer.

God damn it, Lauren. Keep it together. She thought to herself. She didn't know if she could endure this conversation much longer. She hadn't been by herself with Camila in months, and she certainly wasn't ready now. "Hey." Camila repeated, taking Lauren into her arms. She rubbed her back. "Please tell me." She begged. "What's wrong?" She tightened her grip on Lauren. "Please." Camila felt her heart drop as Lauren pushed her away and turned around. "Lauren." She said sternly.

"You should go." Lauren managed to get out. She was shaking from the quiet sobs. "I'm okay, Camila. Really. You should go."

"Well, I'm not going." Camila tried to turn Lauren around. "Look at me!" She shouted a little louder than she intended.

"Just go, Camila. Please." She walked into the bathroom and locked the door. "I'm okay." She repeated. There was silence for a moment as Lauren held her breath. When she heard the door slam shut, she winced. She didn't know if she felt relieved or if she felt hurt. Maybe both.