Paper Scars || camren

Chapter Eleven

Lauren was dreading rehearsals as she laid awake in bed next to a sleeping Camila. She didn't want the girls to know how hooked she was again on Camila. She was embarrassed, not of Camila, but of herself. She had no self control, even after months of rigorous work to build herself up for being around Camila again. The girls, who used to joke about 'Camren' frequently, would now never dare to speak a word of it after finding Lauren that night. They can't know. Lauren thought to herself. They would be so disappointed. She couldn't believe that she wanted to hide Camila. She had given her so much shit for hiding their relationship and now that's what she was doing. She could already see the concerned looks from the girls, especially Normani, who was always the most worried. She hoped the girls wouldn't make it too obvious in front of Camila. Camila was unaware of everything that had happened over the break and Lauren would do everything in her power to keep it that way. Sometimes she wished she had just died that night. It would've saved her a lot of trouble.

"Good morning." Lauren turned to see Camila propped up on her elbow, smiling at her.

"Well, it was." Lauren replied jokingly. She felt Camila playfully hit her on the shoulder before falling back onto her pillow.

"We have to actually leave the hotel room today." Camila whined. "I could've gotten used to this."

"There's no pizza in here. We would've had to have left sometime."

"Staying with you is worth no pizza."

Lauren brought a hand up to her chest and feigned shock. "I'm honored, Camila."

The petite girl once again turned to face Lauren. "Why don't you call me Camz anymore?" She watched as Lauren went from faking shock to actually being shocked. There was a silence before Lauren spoke again.

"Too many memories, I guess." Her voice was barely audible.

"Good memories?"

"Yes." Lauren paused. "That's the problem."

"You're still my Lolo."

"We aren't those people anymore, Camila."

"I want to be. Don't you?"

"You have no idea." Lauren shut her eyes as the flashbacks began. She was getting better at pushing them back, but they were coming more frequently lately.

"So, let's be them again." Camila replied simply.

"Don't you wish it were that easy?" She asked, keeping her eyes closed.

"Well, why isn't it?" Camila questioned.

Lauren opened her eyes to look at the girl. "It's too early to be drudging up the past." Lauren mumbled, getting up quickly. "Let's just get ready." She made no eye contact as she walked into the bathroom.

-

"Do you not know how to answer a phone?" Normani was immediately at Lauren's side when she walked in with Camila, who was watching the two with curiosity. Lauren noticed Camila's interest and shot Normani a look. "Umm... uh... because you forgot your shoes in my hotel room." Camila walked off and set her things down, prepping for rehearsals.

"Mani." Lauren gritted through her teeth. "You have got to chill around Camila."

"I know. I'm sorry. I was just worried." She studied Lauren, looking for signs of distress. "You're alright then?" Lauren nodded.

"I'm okay, Mani." She said out loud to ease her friend a little more. "Thanks for looking out for me. I love you." She brought the girl into an embrace and felt her relax. It made Lauren feel like shit the way she worried her friends and family like this.