Paper Scars || camren

Chapter Nineteen

The girls were all sitting in the lounge together, a small murmur between Camila, Dinah, and Ally going on. Lauren felt a small flutter every time Camila met their eyes, even if it was only for a second. It had been about a week and they were on their way to Omaha. Lauren had still kept to herself mostly, speaking with Ally a little from time to time. Normani and Dinah really hadn't spoken to her, she figured maybe they were afraid to upset her, but she'd been sober for a whole week. She didn't understand the silence between them, especially from her overprotective Normani. Her and Camila were a different story, though. They had kept it quiet, something they were very used to, but it wasn't as severe as before. They shared a couple of very innocent kisses, almost as if they were forgetting how many times they'd been intimate before. It was almost laughable, but sweet. They both weren't ready to talk about it, so they just went with it. No one had to know for now—hell, even they didn't know. But that was fine with both of them, they were more than happy to leave it at a couple of kisses early in the morning while they were alone. There was one thing—one huge thing—that bothered Lauren: Camila was still so jittery around her phone when she was with Lauren. She silenced it and silenced it more and silenced it some more constantly when they were together. Lauren had no other reason than to believe it was Austin calling. Was Camila doing to Austin what she had done to Lauren? She didn't want to be responsible for that, but how was she supposed to bring it up? She didn't want to make Camila furious because of the lack of trust. Lauren wasn't ready to jump back into fighting just yet. She was soon pulled out of her thoughts when she felt a dip in the couch. Lauren looked over to see Normani sitting next to her, looking at her like she was trying to see if it was really her.

"Hey," Lauren gave a smile. She had missed the girl who used to never leave her side. The fact that they hadn't talked in weeks was saddening to Lauren. They were supposed to be best friends. Lauren noticed as Camila watched them closely, confused by that.

"Hey?" Normani countered, a little bitterness hanging in her tone.

"Yeah? Hey..." Lauren furrowed her eyebrows.

"You haven't talked to me in weeks and all you're going to say is 'hey'?"

Lauren shifted to look at Normani more closely. What the hell? Normani had been the one ignoring her, averting her eyes away every time they had eye contact. "Um, I'm a little confused."

"Where have you been?" Normani spoke sharply. Camila kept her eyes locked on them. What the fuck is going on?

"Right here?"

"No, Lauren. Where have you been? 'Cause you sure as hell aren't here."

Lauren grimaced, now annoyed. "What the fuck are you talking about? Care to stop dancing around what you're really trying to ask?"

"You aren't here. You're either drunk or asleep or in some sort of trance." Lauren rolled her eyes. Here comes the judgement.

"I've been doing better."

"You mean you haven't fucked someone in a while."

"Normani." Lauren gritted through her teeth.

"You said you would tell us if things were getting bad again, but you didn't. You just went away." Normani shot Camila an intimidating look when she realized her watching.

Lauren let out a bitter laugh. "Sorry, I almost forgot everything is my fault."

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I'm not doing it anymore! Have you seen me pick up a drink—or a guy—this past week?" Lauren shot back, baffled Normani was pushing her on this. Normani opened her mouth to reply but Lauren raised a hand in front of her. "Save it, I should've known this was coming. All you do is sit here and fucking judge me." Camila was about to intervene but decided just to wait it out. "You think I'm just some breakable fucking girl, Mani. You think I'm weak. Just say it."