This Sucks || A Supernatural Fanfiction

30. It's Frickin Bats. I Love Halloween

Get your tissues and hold onto your asses, guys gals & non-binary pals, this shit's bout to get ever realer.

Marley turned to Emalee and took her shoulders.

"Look at me. Emalee, look at me." Those big brown eyes met hers hesitantly. "You can tell me. This is a safe place."

Emalee closed her eyes, taking a deep, shuddering breath. "You know about... everything that went down. S- okay, I can't even say her name. Well, after we got to high school, she told me that she wanted to get back together, so, being the foolish bitch I am, I believed her. But all she did was break my heart again.

"Well... I dreamt that she-she came after me again... and I let her," Emalee sobbed. Marley wrapped her arms around her, more worried than she was letting on. Despite recent events, Emalee never cried. Like, ever. The way she broke down like this reminded her too much of the other times... and Marley realized, after all these years, just how deeply in love Emalee was.

"It's alright," she murmured. Emalee gasped for air, tears streaming down her face, body shaking. "She can't hurt you anymore."

"But she can!" Emalee wailed. "I can't stop loving her. I'd do anything for her. It's a weakness, and I hate it! She could shoot me, cut me, and I wouldn't care, because IT'S HER!" 

Her scream ripped through the walls. It echoed around the room, down the halls. It resounded heavily in Marley's chest, hearing this outward display of grief. 

Emalee crumbled, hiccuping between tears, letting out all the pain trapped inside of her since seventh grade. She screamed again, louder and lower this time. Marley pulled her closer, whispering things to her as her chest hitched, warning her that the others would come asking.

Sure enough, Eileen, Sam, and Dean appeared at her door, eyes wild.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked. Marley locked eyes with Eileen

"A nightmare," she said quietly. Eileen nodded in understanding and sat on the bed, pressing herself closer to Emalee. Sam and Dean fidgeted, wanting to help but not knowing what to do.

"Go get a glass of chocolate milk and two chocolate chip cookies," Marley said to them, and they scurried away. Emalee was still quaking, her breathing uneven, eyes still leaking tears. She clung to Eileen and Marley like they were her lifeline. In some way, they were. Without them, she probably would've killed herself a long time ago.

"Hey, Em?"

"Yeah?"

"You'll never leave me, right?"

"How could I? You're so amazing that words can't even describe it," Emalee said with a glowing smile, wrapping her arms around the girl in front of her. She was short, with waist-length brown hair and sharp, clear blue eyes. Those eyes looked up into her own dark brown, doubtful. Emalee pressed a kiss to Stephanie's forehead, then her nose.

"I love you. Too much." Stephanie smiled, something that made Emalee's heart flutter.

"I know," she whispered quietly, reaching up for a soft kiss. "I love you too, Em."

Emalee shuddered hard, shaking herself from the flashback. All those words.

I love you. I'll never leave you. You mean the world to me. I can't live without you. You're my everything. 

They were all lies.

She screamed again, this time in anger. She'd let herself get too close, and look what happened. She got hurt, bad.

If you distance yourself from everyone, you can't get hurt. She was attached to too many people.

But she would never, ever give them up. She wouldn't do what she did. 

Just as her sobs were slowing, Sam and Dean came back with the milk and cookies. Emalee gave them a watery smile. 

"Thanks," she laughed. "I'm a total mess right now."

"No, Em. You're beautiful," Eileen said, squeezing the arm wrapped around her shoulders. The boys joined them on the bed, both taking her free hands.

"I don't understand your pain. I really don't. But I know pain, too. I know what it's like to hurt on the inside," Dean said, his eyes reflecting his understanding. "I know."