Who Is My Trouble?

How Things Get Along

Days passed, and we became more drained than ever. We saw the tension rising with each and every round a person has conducted a speech. We would head to bed, having barely any energy to change our clothes and wake up urging to know who will be presenting on the following day. Seth presented on the 5th day of our visit, as I presented on the 8th. It was true that both of us felt a bit relieved after giving, for we didn't have to wake up to the same tension in the morning anymore. We had a chance sometimes to escape and grab a bite outside the hotel. We would go and walk on the seaside, have some ice cream, and even smoke. Seth and I met in a workshop back in my home country when he came for a visit. The workshop was purely political in which I was discussing some law cases and how they must be refined and used. Seth was the only American guy in the class, and it wasn't hard for me to identify as we were all Britishers. He was silent, and never uttered a word, for he was noting down most of what I said. After the workshop was over, I walked towards him, trying to know who he was. "What brings you here?" I kindly asked as I stood to observe his features. Seth was taller than me, which stated that he was a tall guy in general, as I was 5'8. He had dark brown eyes and was slightly darker than me. His face had light features, and Seth didn't look like his real age despite the few wrinkles he had. He told me that he came as a tourist to the country, and while he was walking down the streets, he saw the banner outside the bookshop, where the workshop took place, so he felt eager to join. I was interested in finding an American in my studio, as I usually used to discuss things that would favor us Britishers above them. I asked Seth for a cup of coffee in a coffee shop, which was in the same street as the bookshop. He left me his number, and we stayed in touch for one year. He came to Nottingham, where I lived, and visited me several times in the same bookshop that I held my workshops at. He found interest in what I was doing. He saw how driven I was by it, and decided to become my student, even though it was hard to keep up with the time zone difference. Nottingham was 8 hours ahead from where he came from, Riverside, California. Yet, he always kept a foot in the country and attended my workshops every now and then. I never knew much about Seth during the years, for our meetings were very professional as we tried to make the best gains from the time we had. I never got the chance to travel and visit him in his city, as I used to work day and night on my program, apart from my full-time job as a bookshop keeper. I made good money out of the workshops that I gave after graduating from law school. Yet, I enjoyed working in the bookshop, not only for the fair pay I got. The free venue I had to conduct my workshops was because I was also supported by a small apartment, which was in the same building as the bookshop. On the last day of the competition, everyone was nervous and ultimately exhausted after the long work. Yet, Seth and I found it fun to make connections with different people all over the world and have political debates with them. It was half-past 6 when I was making my way to the hotel while holding my shopping bags. Someone stopped me at the hotel entrance and told me how impressed he was with my program. What I heard of him wasn't something new, as I got many compliments for effectively presenting my program. Yet, there was one thing striking about what he said. He warned me about who the winner was, telling me that the position was mine, yet other people had a hand to refine the results and shift them to their favor. I didn't know whether to be happy for the victory that I deserved or sad for never having it. I begged him to tell me who my replacement was, but he couldn't utter a word other than warning me from saying his information to anyone. I asked for any evidence that could prove his word, and as an answer, he tapped on my shoulder and asked me where did I come from. I replied, "Nottingham." and that was enough for him to leave me with his mysterious smile, in my head, full of confusion. I walked into the room and turned the lights on as I placed my bags on the table. I kept my head down on the desk, figuring out how I could organize my thoughts. I felt myself draining and falling into a hole of ultimate disturbance. It wasn't too long before Seth made his way into the room as well to find me leaning on the desk in the same position. "Are you okay?" he asked as he slowly made his way to me. I didn't reply nor lifted my head up to see him, but I felt a tear escaping my eyes and slowly falling on the table. As he saw it, he slowly passed his hands over my shoulders to pull them back and face me. "I lost a dirty loss, Seth," these words barely escaped my mouth as I started sobbing. He took me to have a seat which was beside the television, opposing his bed. He bent down and placed his hands on my knees, "What's wrong?" he looked up at my red face covered with tears. I tried to look at the seaside that wasn't too visible as it was getting dark, so I turned back to look at anything in the room, which would distract me from looking at him. He squeezed his hands over my knees and questioned the reason for my miserable state. I finally looked down at how I was nervously squeezing my hands and told him that I couldn't explain what was going on. One thing for sure happened, is that he didn't buy it. He got up, looked around, and then looked back at me, "I am not buying this okay? You will tell me what's wrong with you." It took me a while to grab myself and stop myself from crying. I got up and made it to the fridge to grab myself a drink to feel better. "You won't drink!" he rushed to me pulling the glass off my hand, "What happened with you?" he calmed down and asked me as he slowly took me back to the same seat. "Tonight, you will know," I replied, "I must get ready for tonight's dinner," I stood and made my way to the shopping bags that were placed on the table. "Do you like this?" I asked as I took out a light blue double-breasted cape sheath dress, off-white Cuban heels, and a mini off-white handbag. "Yes, I do," he replied as he sat on his bed. "I got something for you too," I said as I took out an off-white tie and made my way to him. He giggled as he held it and thanked me for thinking of him. I excused myself and told him that I had to get my hair done before the evening occasion. He didn't ask me again for what was going on, and neither did I pay attention to my disturbing thoughts. It was half-past 9 when I was done with everything. My retro bob hairstyle matched my outfit, and I managed to keep my makeup as light as possible, with a simple touch of peach-pink lipstick. Seth wasn't in the room when I was ready, which was odd as he usually waited for me to go with him to every event. As I was spraying my perfume and looking at my final look in the big mirror, he entered the room. "You're back," I said before he showed up in front of me. He was wearing a navy blue shirt and off-white pants while holding the tie I got him in his hands. "So, I only see you without your cap if you're wearing a suit, right?" I asked as I left my handbag on his bed and walked towards him to take his tie off his hands. "May I?" I looked up at him and started fixing his tie. "These pearls shouldn't leak tears anymore," he placed his hand on my chin and lifted my face up, "I don't know what bothered a queen like you, but if I knew, I wouldn't let him alone." For a second, I gazed into his chocolate eyes and fell for them. For the first time, I felt that he and I were closer than ever before, his eyes were warm and welcoming, and mine was just admiring their beauty. I fixed his tie silently and then moved to look at his complete outfit, "amazing," I pulled him to the mirror and stood beside him. "You're still shorter than me with heels," he joked. "I am your height now," I stood on my toes. "Take care, you'll fall!" he laughed as he held me. As I laughed back, we heard the door knock. He walked to get the door while I held my handbag and followed him. It was one of our competitors, reminding us that dinner has started. Both of us left and made it to the hall. It was our last night there in the hotel, and all that we were doing was enjoying our toast and waiting for the announcement at 12 midnight. As we sat on our table 5 minutes away from the announcement, I saw the same man who warned me about the results. The only thing that I had in mind was his puzzled question; where was I from. The announcer finally came up after a long speech, and it was the moment of truth. The truth which was colored with lies and pain, the truth that did not hold the real name, Seth Carlos Bernard. Everyone was clapping warmly for 5 complete minutes as he represented on the 5th day. Seth was shocked and cheerful about the results. I could see how glowing his eyes were and how his smile couldn't leave his face. For 5 minutes, I was putting my hands together for him yet unable to be untroubled. I looked for the same man who told me about the refinement, and only then I understood what he meant. Seth came from a rich family; the Bernard's. It was all a political game played against my program as it favored many topics that the Britishers faced. With time, I felt the vanity of my work and presence, and I built my discontent with all the parties involved in the alteration of the result, even Seth himself. I saw how confounded most of the attendees were, as the chitchats that took place before had only my name as a winner. Once the victory was announced, it couldn't be changed, and with my ultimate disappointment, I had nothing to do but leave. My phone rang multiple times as I was standing by the pool, having my cigarette. I was staggered to find that Seth was the one who defeated me in front of the world, yet his defeat was a dirty one. I started having second thoughts about whether he had a hand in this. I rushed up to my room and turned on my laptop to look up his family. Apparently, his uncles were politicians, and his mother's family were activists as well. To my epiphany, I knew that I was used. It might have been a coincidence that he passed by the bookshop years ago. His visits to me and the great urge to acquire more knowledge about setting a political problem and dealing with global cases were definitely a set plan. My tear was on the edge of falling off, but my ego rose, and I couldn't let myself lose to him at all.He quickly entered to see me sitting on my desk, holding my drink. "You've been missing for an hour, where did you go?" he moved closer to me as he wanted to catch my attention. I coldly looked up at him, then left to the windows and started looking at how tiny the cars fitted the streets. "Do not dare and get close to me," I turned back to him as he started walking closer to me, "You think I wouldn't know? You think that you can fool me?" I said with a sarcastic, low tone. He wondered what I was talking about as he kept on questioning me what was going on. "What's going on is that you're a deceiver, and I won't be fooled anymore by a liar like you," I pushed him away from me as I yelled. You came into my life and said that you found interest in what I was doing," I pushed him even more, "but you never told me about your great plan! To feed your political family ego," I pushed him to the same desk I had my laptop on. "Look at this," I turned him to the desktop, "these are your family politicians and activities. You were just fooling me, knowing that by your famous name, you will get what you and your family want.""I have no idea what you are talking about," he calmly broke through his silence. Yes, I come from a political family, but that doesn't have anything to do with my program." "Liar!" I yelled as I slapped him on the face, "you used me every single time you managed to visit me, just to add more value to your family. Well, guess what, you won tonight in front of the whole world, but to me, that's a dirty victory, and I would never lose to a liar like you," I closed the laptop and walked towards the door as he pulled me by my hand. "Leave me!" I yelled as I tried to escape his hands. "What do you mean by dirty victory?" he soberly demanded. "As if you don't know!" I succeeded in getting my hands back, "you and your family played with tonight's ranking. It was me who was supposed to win, but shame on you and your followers who support you in a dirty manner," I turned my back to him as I opened the door. He came after me and smashed the door, not allowing me to escape neither the room nor him. "Move," I requested as I looked down at his tie. "Not before you tell me what happened," he got closer to me and held my chin upwards. After a moment of silence in which I took to catch up on my thoughts, I looked at him, "The results have been played with, it was my program that won, but it was given to you.""Who told you that?""Someone came to me as I was going back from the mall, he didn't give me any proof to what he warned me from, but it was true. He told me that someone else got the place, and when I asked for proof, he just asked where did I come from."Seth let his hands off the door and built up a distance between us. He seemed disappointed more than anyone who would be in his place as a winner. He made his way to the desk and covered his face with his hand, not knowing whether to celebrate his victory in front of the world or admit his defeat in front of me. "Did you have a hand?" I asked as I slowly made my way to him, "did you?""No, I didn't," he looked up at me with a defeated face. I saw his glowing eyes fade away and get replaced by the eyes of discouragement. He held my hand and looked up at me as I was silent to his hopes being crashed, "I did not know anything about this, I swear to you." I placed my hand on his head and slowly started going through his hair, "It's alright, Seth, it's over. Tomorrow everyone will depart and continue with his life," I walked away from him to the closet as I planned to prepare for bed, and by the time I was done he was already dozing off. The following day I left earlier than him to the airport, as my plane was at 10 in the morning. I lied to him and said that my plane was in the evening with him. I left him a note in his cap before I walked to have my breakfast. I told him that it was better to cut ties with each other as I didn't want to pursue any political case anymore in the following months. I had my breakfast, went to the airport, deleted his number from my phone, and bought a new sim card as I reached the country, ready for a fresh start.