After dinner and dessert, we got drunk. I became twice as vulnerable and emotional as what Sasha ever thought of me. I knew that being transparent was the only way I could open up to Sasha. We went to bed and felt the silence and the warmth of our thoughts merging into our bodies.
Sasha: Have you been honest with me?
Me: Have I ever made you feel the opposite?
Sasha: Never. But I am curious to know more about your thoughts.
Me: My thoughts? What about them?
Sasha: What about them?
Me: I always knew you were a smart girl. The reason why I live on 5 different medications is that I am diagnosed with PTSD. There was a time when I disappeared from here for a long while.
Sasha: I remember.
Me: I was hurt in an explosion, and there was this man with me, lovely, who couldn't survive the discharge.
Sasha: Was he your boyfriend?
Me: A part of me wanted him to be.
Sasha: What happened with you later on?
Me: I came back after the severe care and efforts paid on me by my friends. And lived as coldly as ever with no feeling or emotions.
Sasha: Do you still feel the same?
Me: Not until I met you.
Sasha: ...
Me: I left you the extra money on purpose that night. I wanted to see you in my bookstore, but I didn't know it would be that quick.
Sasha: I knew that.
Me: The medication kills your emotions Sasha, and eventually, it kills you. What I am taking is not an easy thing on my head. The only thing that is motivating me to cut off my medication is you.
Sasha: Is it helping?
Me: Mostly. I do get flashbacks occasionally, but the nightmares are fundamental.
Sasha: Do you still have them when you're with me?
Me: I've been sleeping on the couch for the last month, I can't answer that.
Sasha: ...
Me: ...
Sasha: ...
Me: I love it when your hair is falling over your skin. You look angelic.
Sasha: How can I help you with suspending your medication?
Me: I can't discontinue the course from my head. The therapist needs to approve upon it.
Sasha: How would we get his approval?
Me: When I am sure that I no longer need the medication, and when he is convinced that I am no longer diagnosed with PTSD.
Sasha: How can I help you to get to that point?
Me: ...
Sasha: ...
Me: By staying close.
Sasha: I promise you to stay.
Me: I hate promises.
Sasha: I do not promise you to stay.
Me: That's better. You are a free young bird. Don't limit yourself to me.
Sasha: I am 21.
Me: And I am 25. Almost.
Sasha: When is your birthday?
YOU ARE READING
Who Is My Trouble?
RomanceA series of events that overtake the destiny of our own life. Are we to choose our destiny? Or is it shaped already?
