| Whiskers || Yoonmin |

Ch22 ~ Old and Grey...

After that long conversation about his feelings and emotions and all the oblivion he had been living in, the bell had sounded to signal the end of that school day. Yoonah had a club to attend after school, so Yoongi told her he would go on ahead and that he'd see her at home.

As Yoongi exited the building and gazed down at his shoes, he wondered what it would be like now. How he and Jin would act around each other, now that this newfound information had been given to him – hinted more like. He strolled through the gate, his thoughts leading him to an impossible conclusion.

Despite Yoonah's insistence on 'getting it off his chest before he killed himself with teenage angst', there wasn't a bone in his body that thought confessing would do him any real favours. Or anyone, for that matter.

He could already feel Yoonah's sucker punch to the nose. 'You're so stupid! This isn't something you can hide forever! Jin will find out himself one day! So, it's better you tell him now!' but he knew he couldn't. He didn't have the balls to put their friendship at risk.

To humour her maybe, he'd tell Yoonah that he'd think about it. That he'd consider it. Maybe he would feed her that lie so she wouldn't kill him for spending the next 17 years, avoiding each and every conversation about his feelings for Jin, and getting over him once and for all.

Maybe when they were old and grey, he could admit it. He'd probably be over it by that time. Might've even grown a family of his own, not have thought about his angsty, teenage crush on his best friend back in high school. Maybe at that point, he would be married to the love of his life, that old crush meaning nothing by then because he had better things to loom over – like bills and work and kids.

Yeah, he'd tell Jin when they were old and frail. When they were too sick to walk and too old to hear decently. When their eye sight failed and they were one foot inside the coffin, he'd say it. But until then...

"I can't ever tell him..." Yoongi muttered to himself.

"What can't you tell him?!" a giddy voice asked. Yoongi didn't have time to think before a broad arm hung over his shoulder and forced his upper body forward. Yoongi was lucky he didn't fall face first into the dirt.

"JEEZ JIN! GIVE A GUY A SIGNAL BEFORE YOU TRY TO CHOKE HIM!" he broke free from the older boy's grasp, startled and also agonisingly aware of the red in his cheeks. Speak of the devil Yoongi thought begrudgingly.

"Ok I've done that to you more than 5000 times in the span of our friendship, you're only now going to complain that I might be trying to kill you?" Jin smirked, his hands on his hips and Namjoon standing behind him. He had his school bag hanging over his shoulder – much like those rebel protagonists in shoujo anime. Jin looked very oddly pleased at himself. Since they'd been children, he had never managed a surprise attack on Yoongi. Yoongi was a little more nonchalant than Jin liked, too laid back to really be shocked in any way, shape or form.

Yoongi was all but pleased. He was beside himself with anxiety, his heart had started thrumming through his ribcage. He felt his cheeks grow rosy as hot blood pumped to the under-surface of his face.

"Dude are you okay? Your cheeks are red and... are you shaking?" Namjoon observed, coming closer for a better look at his older friend's dwindling composure. "Are you sick?" God no, don't come any closer! Yoongi's conscience begged, as both males towered over him.

"No way, you never get sick," now it was Jin's turn to notice how much of a mess Yoongi had become. "come here, let me check."

"No, I'm fin–" Yoongi stuttered, but Jin had already begun closing in on him. He couldn't move, not when Jin reached for his neck and pulled him near. The younger boy felt small under his touch, like Jin had some sort of power over him. One minute he was assuring Jin of his perfectly sound health, the next, the older boy had formed a vice grip on him without the use of anything but his own two hands.

Yoongi could feel his palms grow wet and his head start to spin as his dilated pupils concentrated on the elder boy's curvy lips. As Jin got closer, Yoongi's lungs decided this was a good time to take a break from work, to stop swinging back and forth altogether. He screwed his eyes shut, Jin's crooked fingers wiping Yoongi's pink bangs away. Before he knew it, the space between them closed, and the entrance of Jin's mouth was just an inch away from his. It took all of Yoongi's might to keep from stepping forward, to keep from stealing a kiss.

"Hmmm, you feel hot enough to be admitted into the ER," Jin said as he pulled away. Yoongi almost incinerated as he let out a breath, he didn't know he was holding.

It was safe to say he regretted this feeling. That he regretted the decisions his heart had made before consulting him first. He cursed it, because if it weren't for his heart, he probably wouldn't have to feel this way. He probably wouldn't look so dazzling to him; he wouldn't need to hide the way he felt, he wouldn't feel as though he was committing a crime... this damn heart. "You're shaking too, do you want us to take you home?"

"N-no I..." Yoongi tried. "...I got it..." he turned back to exit the gates once again, but he stopped in his tracks when Jin's voice sounded in his ears.

"You sure? It wouldn't be any trouble." Jin smiled, pearly whites on show as he grinned endearingly at his childhood friend. "You'd do the same for me."

Yoongi could almost hear the beam on his face, smeared across his lips like a painting that resembled the beauty of Monalisa. Still, he needed to stop. He needed to stop feeling this way, it wasn't right. Jin would never be able to see him the same way, he would never look at Yoongi and see his future flash before his eyes. They could never grow old together...

"You know I would," Yoongi managed a small smirk. He twisted his head to look at the older male one last time, his shaky hands hidden in his pockets. "but I'm fine, a little cold never killed anybody."

"If we'd been born in the middle ages, it might've killed you." Namjoon jibed.

"Well thank my lucky stars I was born in this era." Yoongi waved goodbye, and only when he turned a corner, did he let his tears fall...

~☆~

Jin sighed when Yoongi had disappeared from sight. "I'm worried about him Joonie."

"Why's that?" Namjoon queried, tilting his head to the side. "It's just a cold, he'll get over that easy, Yoongi's a lot stronger than that." And he often did, but this seemed like a whole new sickness with a unique antidote for each patient.

"No that's not it," Jin shook his head as they made their own way down the street toward town. "he's hiding something from us." Jin declared sadly. It was as though an arrow had pierced his heart, not enough to kill him though. Instead, the dull ache plagued his chest and ate at his sanity.

"No way," Namjoon looked sceptical as they passed another corner and headed for a brightly lit mall and spied a desert café next to a Lotte world shop. "what could be so bad that he can't tell even us?"

"I don't know Joon." Jin hung his head, eyes focussed on his beaten school shoes. They'd seen better days but Jin wasn't going to buy a new pair, the year was coming to a close soon. He'd just have to bear with it. "But whatever it is, I hope he's okay..." it wasn't often one would see Jin despondent. He was usually the mood maker among the three of them, the one who lit up a dreary, detached room full of gloomy, senseless people. Just a grin, and you'd question whether you were in the same room.

Namjoon deflated at the older boy's change in temperament. He had seen Jin like this more times than he could count since, being friends that long, sad days were rare but could never be dismissed as a myth. Even a candle that shone as bright as Jin, had days where the wax would threaten the light. Still, he could never get used to the pain he felt when Jin frowned like that.

"Hey," he nudged Jin. Jin gazed up from his shoes and met eyes with Namjoon. "you know what'll make you feel better?" the brown headed boy shook his head, truly oblivious as to what he could do to lift his spirits now. "A trip to the desert shop." Namjoon grinned as he noticed the corners of Jin's lips begin to widen into a small smile. Slight, tiny, but a smile nonetheless. "C'mon, I'll pay."

"I'll strip you dry of your allowance." Jin scoffed, letting out a breathy laugh but he gave in anyway. Namjoon always knew what to say when Jin found himself grow anxious and miserable, both big and small. There were only so many times he could count where Namjoon hadn't succeeded in making him grin from ear to ear. One could call Namjoon the remedy to all Seokjin's troubles, there wasn't anything he couldn't do when it came to Jin's happiness. It was a real talent, one Jin had no power over...