EUPHORIA ¦ PARK JIMIN

Chapter 20

The news of Taemin being in the mental institution was still all over the web with several vulgar comments that he deserved to be there. When Ha Eun arrived at the building, stepping inside the silent institution made her heart beat so fast. Only several people came to visit. She headed to the reception area with the lady in her mid 30s was sitting by her computer.

'May I know who you're visiting?' She asked.

'Lee Taemin,' She replied. The lady looked at her for awhile before she had called out two guards to lead her to Taemin's room.

'May I talk to the doctor?' She inquired.

'Sure. He'll be there shortly,' The lady replied.

While she was lead to Taemin's room, she felt scared but it broke her heart seeing him huddle at the corner of the room. He hugged his knees, rocking back in forth and his hair tousled. The room had no window and it only had a bed and painted white. He wore a grey robe and his state made Ha Eun cry. It broke her heart watching him.

'Miss...'

The doctor came and Ha Eun immediately bowed at him.

'Jung Ha Eun,' She introduced.

'Nice to meet you, Miss Jung,' He said.

'How is he?' She asked.

'He's doing well. As a matter of fact, his caze isn't really very worse like the rest. We are still able to communicate with him normally unlike the rest,' The doctor replied. 'He was different from the rest. People who come here in their first few days are wild and they are very uncontrollable. But Taemin, he came here, only calling out his mother, brother and... you,'

'Me?' She asked, with a look of disbelief.

'Ne. Everytime he mentioned your name, he kept apologizing and most of the time cry like he does right now,' He said.

Tears rolling down her cheeks again, she thanked the doctor and bowed to him before he had left. The door was soon unlocked by the guards and she stepped inside the room. She was scared to come near him, worried that he might shot towards her again but at the same time, his state broke her heart.

He was mumbling words, calling out his mother like what the doctor said and cried. While hugging his knees, he rocked back and forth.

"Taemin... ' She called softly and took a step towards him.

Taemin smiled but it soon fell.' Ani. ani. You're not true, '

Then he turned away from her and kept mumbling the same words that she wasn't really there. She cried even more and then she kneeled near him and reached out for his arm.

'Taemin, it's me. Ha Eun,' She said.

'Ani. Ani. Leave me alone. I was was sorry. Please,' He begged and nudged his arm then he began to sob.

Her heart ached so much and it felt like it was tearing into two. Whilst the hardships that Taemin had put her through, she felt bad for him. Not knowing what to do, she only had one thing in mind. She reached out for Taemin's right ear and rubbed the back of it with her index finger and kissed his head.

She was scared but not this time when he looked so vulnerable. He lifted his head and looked directly to her eyes.

'Is it really you, Ha Eun?' He assured.

'Ne. Naya (It's me),' Ha Eun replied and wiping her tears but still, tears rolled down more.

Smiling that it was Ha Eun in front of him, he frowned again as the scene of him hurting Ha Eun flashed inside his head and Ha Eun begging him to stop.

'No. Go away. You shouldn't be here,' He looked away from her with tears rolling down his cheeks.

'Taemin-ah, mianhe,' She added, her voice cracking in the end.

'Waeyo? You didn't do anything,' Taemin replied as she sobbed.

'You're here because of me,' She replied.

'Gwaenchana, Ha Eun. Uljima,' He said and forcing out a smile. 'I deserve this after what I've done to you. Na eobs-ineun anjeon hae. (You're safe without me),'

Her heart shattered.

'And I know I'm going to be here for so long so I want you to promise me something...' he added and when her eyes fixed at him, he continued. '... nega naleul ij-eul geos-irago yagsog hae geurigu haengboghage jinaela ( Promise me that you'll forget me and stay happy)'

' Taemin-ah... '

'I know you can do that because you did it for the past three years and I know you can be happy,' He said. 'Now, go. Leave me here,'

She was reluctant to leave but he was forcing her to.

'I'll be fine here,' He assured.

After so long that he felt so numb, he felt that every tear that rolled down Ha Eun's cheeks tore his heart into millions of pieces. It felt like a thousand of knives stabbing him. While Ha Eun began to walk towards the door sobbing. When the door was shut, he bursted into tears.

'Ha Eun, saranghaeyo,'

For the first time, Ha Eun felt that what Taemin had told her was the most hardest thing to do. He was right, she was able to do it for the past few years but this time, it was different. Seeing the man that she once loved and the man she knew slowly come back before everything messed up his mind, it broke her. She walked out of the building with tears never ending to cascade down her cheeks.

She got into the cab and it was only then Jimin had called.

'Jigeum eodi issni (Where are you now)?' He asked.

She sucked in a breath and plastered a smile to mask up her broken heart.

'I'm on my way back to the office, huijang-nim. Joseonghabnida,' She said.

Arriving in the office, she headed to her desk and Jimin had seen her come.

'Why does she look so sad?' He muttered to himself.

Forget me. Taemin's words rang inside her ears as if he was there beside her.