20 days home was going to be a certain kind of hell that I am not ready for. I have to lie to the people that love me most about the person I love the most, who doesn't love me.
Thank god for best friends and bad decisions.
Bridget made sure I coped without my parents seeing how hurt I really was. I don't think I was sober more than maybe 3 days of the last 3 weeks. My heart still feels like its breaking. I feel numb and I cry myself to sleep every night.
He still texts me. Wanting to be friends. Asking about my family. When he really wants to know if I have told anyone...he's thinking of himself. He doesn't care how I feel right now, he just wants to make sure no one knows he cheated on me and he doesn't want anyone "Hating" him. He's making this harder on me. Asking me if I hate him, asking if we can still be friends, telling me he already misses me but this was for the best.
I want him in my life.. Rilen is my best friend. But it just hurts too much knowing what he is doing.
Bridget is worried about me, I can see it. She takes me to a field and she lets me drink, cry and scream. We bought glass cups and she let me throw them against a tree. I was sobbing, screaming "why"... this kind of hurt was different and unlike anything I was used too.
Rilen broke me. He mentally, emotionally and physically ruined me. And I don't know how I am supposed to keep it all in and act like I am fine.
The girls make me a tinder.
At first I was against it.
Until I saw his.
This was really happening.
This was it.
I told myself he didn't love me and has already probably fucked someone. Its time to turn off how I feel and move on.
YOU ARE READING
HIM.
ChickLitWhat do you do when the person you love most hurts you the most... Rilen is the man Alyssa loves most, he is the love of her life. But is she his? They haven't had it easy, after everything Rilen has put her through, she has stayed by his side and l...
