The Badgirl Act (On Hold)

I just want to run away

I closed my mouth and glared at him before running out of the cafeteria.

Once i was running in the hallways, he ran after me "Em! Im sorry! Wait! Will you please not run!" I ignored him and kept on running. His hands grabbed my wrist and yanked me making me hit his hard chest, i was about to pull out but my body stiffened once he put his arms around me. He was hugging me.

I was limp in his arms, i felt his chest go up and down as he sighed. "Im sorry" he whispered, "what the heck was that about?!" I pulled away only to look up at him.

"My friends dared me, and i thought it was funny" he explained. I mean there was completely nothing wrong with him, saying my ass is cute and stripping his top off

But i dont know what came over me,i couldnt think or do so... Normally i just do what i usually do, run away.

"It was alright i guess, i mean you did nothing wrong though. I was just not in a good mood" i lowered my head, he just pulled me closer.

"Why'd you run away?" He asked, i leaned my head in his chest. I dont care about us right now, all i needed was comfort.

"I- i dont know... It just- i guess it feels right running away"i answered honestly.

"Running away from your problems, is a race you cant win..." I snapped my eyes open, and looked at him.

Those words...they're..

"Vee... But-but how-"i said in utter confusion.

"I once met her, when we were young. I was at your house playing video games waiting for Henry. You were changing, she was shy at first but took a seat next to me. She asked me what my avatar was doing, i told her he's running away from monsters who will kill him... And she said those words" he explained. I also remember the time she said those to me, when she keeps having nightmares about her abusive father. She didnt understand why her mom wouldnt tell the police, they just ran away.

A tear left my eye, and i wrapped my arms around his bare torso. He rubbed my back and cooed me "shhh, its okay babygirl. Dont cry, i know what day is today too...".

Its her death anniversarry, ever since i woke up this morning i pushed the thought away. Because i knew Veronica didnt want me to mourn, she wanted me to be happy.

"Come here, we can skip class. Lets get you home okay? I promise babe, i'll be here fo you.." he assured me, i just nodded my head and wiped my tears with the back of my hand and composed myself.

When we arrived at my home, i directly went to get my coat and picked some flowers.

"Where are you going?" He asked me, "im going to see her... Its been years" i mumbled. He looked at me for a moment before saying "im going with you, besides i owe her a thanks for getting me through level 8 in the game".

I nodded, he turned his car off and grabbed my hand entwining our fingers together walking side by side. The graveyard isnt that far, besides its a wonderful day to walk.

I dont know what im doing with Jeremy, do i even like him? Im sure after this day were just going to ignore each other and continue making our lives complete hell.

Like the way hes playing with my feelings, i think im starting to like him. I think, and we all know liking someone is dangerous than having a crush on them. I think punching him in the nose was not a good idea. I dont want to bring up the past, including the time when me and Andy broke up leaving me depressed and broken for the first time because of just a lie.

I still dont know whats the reason why he did that, maybe because he just hates me? Nahhh... Invalid reason.

Ever since Vee died and Andy broke up with me, i changed myself. I was no longer weak and helpless, but am i? Am i strong? If i keep on pretending to be one?

Does it make me brave? Keeping on running away from my past? Its scary what a smile can hide, but its more scary what your eyes can reveal. I never wanted to pretend, but i need to. I never wanted to lie to my friends,but i have to. Or else they'll just go away in fear of what i have been hiding.

"Were here" he snapped me out of my thoughts. I nodded and pursed my lips before making my way to Vee's grave.

I layed down the flower beside her tombstone, i glanced at Jeremy who was waiting and leaning under a tree giving me some space and time.

I look at her name written in a beautiful script handwritting,

Veronica Elizabeth
Born- April 5,1996
Died- April 1, 2008

"Every one dreams to be free, but they let themselves become prisoners of their own emotions"

I sobbed as i remember her talking about her finding someone who will love her, and loving someone with dark pasts is not easy. But what made me love her is not her dark past, but a bright future she made sure herself. But i guess the lights went off...

"I really want to hate you for leaving me.... But i didnt want to be selfish, i-i want you to be happy... To be in peace, i could never hate you" i said as i kneeled down, i cried so hard that not even the oceans cant hold my tears.

I felt an arm wrapped around my shoulders, embracing me. "Im here, im here" i leaned unto his chest.

★★★

After the breakdown, he dropped my to my house. I layed down in bed, and he was talking on the phone.

Does he like me? I mean he's never like this to any girls... Nahh, dont assume things Em. He was just being friendly.

But he could have laughed at me! He could have left me but he didnt! And why the heck would he hug me?

I think its normal..

How about the almost-kiss? What about that?

Am i falling for him?

I mean you secretly liked him for many years, you never really focused on that one. Cause youre to far blinded by the thought of hating him that you didnt even realize youre liking him. Worst falling...

But i can't fall, im not capable.. I stopped..

But your heart never stopped beating, it is possible.

"-i know..im so-im sorry, look- mom, listen... I- i just forgot okay? Ill be there in five..i-i promise" he sounded frustrating, who the heck was he talking to anyways?

Few minutes later he emerged to my bedroom, and i pretended to be asleep. Ofcourse im one good of an actor.

"Em, im sorry i need to go... I uhmmm.. Yeah.. Night- i mean afternoon- i mean.. Uh yeahh" and he walked out.

Does he even have a girlfriend? I mean there are rumors that he isnt capable of liking someone... Kelly and Ella must be lying...

He isnt the type of guy who is capable of liking someone, hes never had a girlfriend.

I mean he's over the top hot,funny, and athlethic but to be honest. Hes never had a girlfriend, one night stands? Yep, but liking someone.. To impossible for him. Especially when he found out that his mom was cheating in his dad, caused his parents to divorce and him living with his mom.

Lets face it, everyone in this world isnt perfect. We all have some reasons why we couldnt do this and that. If the world youre living in isnt perfect then why should you? But never the less, we are perfect in our own ways...

Some fairytales arent meant to have happy endings, and some princesses arent always meant to be loved.

No ones gonna love me...

A/n: that was... Idk whats happenin to Emmy, shes gone soft. Im also confused btw. Anyways, i also have been recieving mixed signals from my crush and i fucking hate it!

I have this strong feeling like super strong feeling that he likes me, but why the heck would he like me? Hes that, and im this... Urghh boys are so complicated.

Anyways! Please feel free to leave comments or vote. Also if you think you can help me with my crush message me.. I need help or else im gonna go mental. Thanks!

JustShey©

Credits to the owner of the photo!