The Good Girl Plays the PLAYER

Chapter 15

We were both cuddled up to each other on the sofa while he played video games and I can't help but think while he plays, that he's been avoiding all day discussing what happened with his father. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed our distraction very much but the bruise on his neck has become more visible and he won't be able to hide it from anyone. The scene that unfolded before my eyes this morning, was the scariest I've ever seen or experienced, but no doubt is was a hell of a lot scarier for him. I don't want to spoil the day we have had but he can't keep bottling this stuff up, he needs to talk to me or at least my brothers, anyone that he feels comfortable with just as long as he offloads this weight he has on his shoulders.

"Liam" I call out to him from over my shoulder, "mm...". "Can we talk abut what happened today with your dad?" I ask softly. He stiffens, then pauses the game. "I don't want to talk about it!" he says in a gruff tone. I knew he wouldn't but he needs to, he can't keep living like this. "I know but..."

"Nichole I don't want to talk about, so drop it!" He interrupts angrily while pushing me aside and getting up to leave. I reach out to hold his hand but he pulls away from me and I hate the way it makes me feel. "Don't be like this! Don't run away, I just want to be here for you, help you if I can, can I not do that for you?" I plead with him. He turns to face me angrily and says with a mocking tone, "You help me? Aren't you overestimating yourself? I don't need you, never have never will" That was hurtful and unnecessary and as I recall, I've already helped him before and today as well and now he says all this? Why? Just to hurt me and push me away? Well if he keeps talking to me like that, he may just succeed. I anticipated his mood was going to change at the mere mention of his father, I expected anger, which is what I got, but I didn't expect him to treat me as if I am disposable trash and I will not put up with that. I am sympathetic to his plight but it doesn't give him the right to hurt me like this when I'm trying to be there for him.

"Me overestimating myself? You don't need me? You never did and never will? I think it's you who underestimates me and if I remember correctly, who was it that came to my house busted up and with nowhere else to go? Who bursted into your dad's office when you were nearly being choked to death and I pushed him away? Who was it that you hugged for dear life, for reassurance and to feel safe? WHO WAS IT LIAM!!!" I shout the last few words out of anger and hurt. I don't regret helping him at all, even though he just spoke to me like this but it still hurts to be pushed aside, like I am nothing to him after everything we have done together.

He starts to pace the room as if like he is a caged animal, trapped in a conversation he doesn't want to be in and while I watch him this way, my soft side starts to feel sorry for him, despite what he just said to me. "Liam! Look at me!" I say as calmly as I can, but he doesn't budge, he just keeps pacing and rubbing his temples as if he's on the verge of a breakdown. I resign to the fact that if he doesn't want to talk to me, I shouldn't force him too, but I will talk instead.
"Fine don't look at me then, but at least listen" I say then take a deep breath." I don't know why you feel the need to push me away or to hurt me like this, but know this; We all need someone to lean on or rely on from time to time and if you'll have me, I'd like to be that person for you, but I won't force you and I will understand if you don't want me" I hold back my tears not wanting to break down in front of him and start to leave the room, giving him space to reflect on what I've said and also to not make him feel trapped anymore than he already did.

Just as I leave the room and reach the stairs, I finally hear him speak. "I don't like it when people pretend to care, but when you need them the most, they always disappear" He says in small voice. I already hate whoever has done such a thing to him and I don't even know who they are. I turn around and walk up to him, I cup his face with the palm of my hands and say softly, "I wouldn't do that to you. If I say i'm there, I will be there no matter what!" He casts his eye down, avoiding my steady gaze and speaks.