The Good Girl Plays the PLAYER

Chapter 31

"I'm so sorry I've kept you waiting for so long" I start to say as I sat back down at our table. I feel awful towards him and right now, the way I'm feeling, I'd like nothing better than to go home, lock myself away and hide from the shame. "Are you okay? You look like you've been crying" He says and I quickly wipe my face, feeling subconscious by his comment.

"Yes, I'm fine and yes I did cry a little, but I'd rather not talk about it right now. Do you mind if we call it a night? I'd really like to go home," I ask, but it sounded more like pleading. I really can't carry this evening on, pretending that everything is hunky-dory, like nothing happened, I'm in bits, having left Liam behind and not having been honest with him. "Sure, I'll just call the waiter over and pay the bill" I watch as he waves his hand, trying to grab the waiters attention, talking to him in hushed tones, asking for the bill. The waiter nodded and walked away, while we waited in awkward silence till he returned, holding the little tray, which held the receipt and couple of mint candies. I pulled out my purse, wanting to pay, but Steven was having none of it, insisting that this was his treat. He places the money on the tray and leaves some extra change as a tip. "Okay, shall we go?" He says with an awkward smile. I nod and we got up, put our jackets on and headed for the doors. 

As we walk down the street side by side, heading towards his car, I pull on his arm to stop. I don't want him to take me all the way home and then say, 'let's be friends', it's not fair to him. "Steven, can we talk for a sec?" I ask and judging by his slumped shoulders, I get the feeling he knows what's coming. He stands in front of me with a sad smile and just nods, waiting patiently for me to speak. "First of all I owe you a huge apology for what happened this evening, I didn't know my ex would show up out of the blue and make a scene like that" I start and I can't help but cast my eyes down in shame. "I thought you said he was your brother's friend?" He questions and I look up to see that he's rather annoyed believing me to have lied.

"I wasn't lying when I said he was my brothers friend, it's just that when he turned up like that, he surprised me and I honestly didn't know what to do or say" I explain. I can feel a lump forming in the back of my throat and my eyes begin to sting and I know I'm about to cry, but I hold back as best I can. "So what did he want?" What did he want? Good question, but how to answer when I'm not sure. All we did was argue and I left like a coward, leaving things unresolved. "I'm not entirely sure, but it's become clear to me that we have unfinished business and it's not fair on you that I carry on with this date"I answer and that lump in my throat gets bigger.

"I see, I kind of guessed but was hoping that when you came back... that perhaps I... I still had a chance" Deep down I knew he liked me and that's why I agreed to go on this date but now I feel so ashamed. From the very first moment I met him, he has been nothing but good to me, so kind, playful and funny, making my miserable days more bearable. Had I met him sooner, before getting involved with Liam, perhaps I could have fallen for him. He's handsome, charming, smart and most importantly, respectful, all qualities I like in a man, but instead I fell for someone who is the exact opposite. I wanted to feel something for him, I truly did, I at least wanted to give it a chance, a chance to grow into something, but I feel nothing, nothing at all, nothing other than a fondness based on friendship.

"I'm so sorry Steven, I didn't want things to end up this way, I swear!" I say as a tear manages to escape me. "I know, so don't cry," he says back to me while wiping my runaway tear. "You're a nice girl and very beautiful, so I took a chance but I guess it didn't work out. Still no harm done and I hope we can still be friends" His voice was trembling as he said this and as much as I didn't want to hurt him, I clearly did, yet here he stands, still smiling at me and offering to still be friends. I am undeserving of such kindness, but I nod all the same in acceptance. "Thank you"