if you were here and were well
maybe you'd be able to see me smile
because before you'd just forget and your mind was a blur
if you were here
I would have been at your side feeding you
and wiping your tears,
I'd see you trying to remember who I was...
the girl who constantly cries at your death bed
because walking into your room split me open and broke me apart
I hope I don't forget the times you'd take me to the park and wipe my tears and clean my blood
when you'd buy me ice cream from the boy who went around the neighborhood
maybe one day I'll forget the times I'd see you smile at nothing
maybe one day I'll forget your voice and your laugh even though I don't want to,
maybe one day I'll forget your gifts and the needle you'd poke through your body every night
just to stay alive and stand upright
if you were alive
maybe then my baby cousin wouldn't say "he's underneath the ground"
maybe she wouldn't say "his wheelchair will never be used now"
I wouldn't cry myself to sleep sometimes because I know I'll never see you
I wouldn't stare at your faded picture on my wall every day and think to myself
he'll never see me graduate
he'll never poke fun at me again
and he'll never EVER hug me and wrap his wrinkled hands and arms around me
If you were here maybe your daughter wouldn't cry every time she sees your face on the other side of the screen
mama wouldn't burst into tears whenever she hears the word Alzheimer's
I know that
if you were here
mama wouldn't have a headache whenever your name is mentioned
your daughters wouldn't regret every minute they spent without you
your daughters wouldn't call each other just to cry on the phone and say
I'm sorry Abu
over and over
maybe if you were here I wouldn't need to write this for you
I wouldn't regret living in America
7,690 miles away from where you were getting weaker and weaker
