She wishes she could cut herself into a million different pieces
and rearrange herself into a perfect puzzle,
change her features into something that glows
so she wouldn't need to care about the things she ate
or be disappointed at the reflection on the other side
Wouldn't see the pitying eyes from the perfect women
She wouldn't think of jumping out of her own skin
She wishes she could rearrange her life into something she
could call perfect, so she wouldn't feel like the train of her success had stopped
while everyone around her was moving forward
She wouldn't have to compare herself to the other girls on the street
and look at herself in disgust
maybe she wouldn't fake a smile or try so hard but in the end still, be forgotten
I am that girl
Mom says life isn't perfect and life will straighten out
but why don't I believe, why is it so hard to truly see what everyone else can see
My teacher says that I have talent and I should keep writing
keep going
How does she seem to understand me and see what I can't
People say I'm a ray of sunshine and that my smile lights and fills up an empty room
Then why is it that when I'm alone, and I try to smile the room is still empty and pitch black
Why can't I rearrange it all
and turn everything wrong off
________
this is probably the most personal poem I've ever written and I'm really scared of putting it out there
