They used to tell me that everything would be ok
that there was no need to shed the tears I shed
Or hide underneath my bed
in fear of what would happen next
When the screams would pierce me in the next room...
they were unaware of my ear pressed against the wooden door
Listening to every word in hopes to hear more
They didn't know how I would look in the mirror
and ask myself if I'm the problem and if I should know better
I got used to the damp feeling on my pillow
It wouldn't hurt anymore,
I would fall asleep to the noise
They didn't know that I put the blame on myself
In the beginning, my mom cut different pieces out
and glued me together into a body of jagged edges that weren't meant to be
When it got so bad,
I'd know that my pieces fell out
and they needed to be sewn back together
I didn't think things would ever get better
There was no point in gluing our house back up
It was already ripped and dysfunctional
They didn't know that I'd lost hope
They didn't know what mattered most
And I think that's how I permanently broke
