Dear Diary,
I'm on it again, hearing about what I've always known but feared. Reading about someone's pain and comparing the with with mine. Wasting my teenage life around endless mistakes I'll reget. Listening to others but only hear my whispers...At night I stare at a dark cold empty space and wonder what I've done and how it has effected me to who I am and where I stand.....I'm shattered, but rarlely show it.
I have to be strong for those who need me. I know it won't be easy. I got my own wounds to heal, but the scares won't show, I already done this before..only if it were easy to get rid of the pain and lost memories...It gets hard to block everything out, it's a bad thing to hold it all in, but don't worry I won't let them (scars) show, it doesn't go deep enough to let me go but it's enough for me to see blood. Yes, I it does sting and leaves a mark but once it's clean you won't be able to see.
I feel shame whenever you (my friend) figure it out and I hate how I crack when I can't hold it all in anymore....The time is ticking and not much is being done for those who scream and bleed out to us yet we do nothing to help. So many years to think of a different way to let go of the pain, but only one seems to work. My mind is like a movie maker, flashing every shame of my darkness to show, it creeps on me every now and then. I'm only (age number) and I've been told "It will get better, just smile like nothings wrong" but when is it going to get better? and my smile has been a lie to everyone around me..
"Smile" I write that on my wrist, so that when I look at my wirst, I no longer see shame but remember that your (my friend) watching me and I have to pretend nothing's wrong with me.If you asked "Do you really think death will solve everyting?" I will say yes, I want to leave not because no one would care...It'll be easier for everyone so that they don't have to hearme complaining, but not just that..did you know that there is belief for a new life or second chance when you die..and if I'm lucky I'll be reborn....
My Scars no one sees but me and let me say I'm happy they don't see. I'm broken hearted and I cry my silent tears in front of you, my eyes never tell truth when I'm looking away, I'm hiding but don't want to be found, I'm waiting but don't know what for or for who?
BrokenHearted Unseen
YOU ARE READING
Hidden Letters
Short StoryLetters, Notes whatever you want to call them. This will repeat the same message or sound the same..by that I mean a lot or most of the letters are about self harm in my own thoughts.
