Heaven Below (Adam Lambert fanfic)

Epilouge~

HEY GUYS, THOUGHT THAT I'D MAKE AN EPILOUGE. THIS WILL BE THE LAST EVER UPDATE FOR HEAVEN BELOW. I AM SO PROUD OF ALL OF YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. THANK YOU. I APOLOGISE TO THE PEOPLE THAT MAY FIND THIS CHAPTER TRIGGERING AS IT HAS SELF HARM MENTIONED. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF IT IS TRIGGERING. I LOVE YOU ALL.

ADAM'S POV

The days go by quick but the pain doesn't. The pain lingers like a bad smell, it's haunting, her voice is all I hear in my dreams. Her face is all I see, cold and dead.
It has been a month since Zoe left, not long for grieving process. A month since her funeral.
I can barley sleep for more than two hours at a time without waking up screaming because I saw her in my dreams. I have hardly been eating because the voices, they say I'm not good enough. If I failed at being a father, why not fail at saving myself. I don't let anyone in anymore. It hurt at first, pushing everyone away, but a greater pain overtook me and I became numb and cold.

Today, I wanted to do something different, today I am doing a show for some Glamberts. I am performing Zoe's song, 'Broken Girl'. She wanted me to sing it. So I am. It's not fair on my Glamberts, it's selfish of me...

"Adam" Tommy calls out from behind me, I turn around to see his beautiful smile. Sauli left for Finland a week ago for some more modelling shoots, he comes home next week but for some reason, I don't care if he comes home or not. I've needed him and he wasn't there, not even by text.

"Hey TJ." I smile back at him. I turn back around to see everyone sitting down in their seats and chatting amongst themselves. "Really big crowd." I whisper gently to myself. She would've been proud.

"Are you ready?" Tommy asks as he straightens his bass. If only he knew, if only I didn't keep faking this fucking smile! If only...

I nod as we walk onto the stage, everyone erupts in cheers. I won't lie, I have missed this, I've missed being on stage performing. The amount of energy makes your entire body feel alive.

"Good afternoon!" I yell out, happily. "Today, I am performing a special song that was written by my daughter." I stop to regain my breathe. She is my daughter, and no one can tell me different. Blood doesn't always make you related, loyalty does. "She wrote this song purely from her heart and it may relate to some of you beautiful girls, and boys. It's not always about the girls. Guys suffer just as much. We all need to look out for one enough because at the end of the day, we're all we have. If you have no one, if you feel like you're at a dead end, please remember. You're not alone in the aftermath." I smile.
Everyone cheers loudly, the noise made my hearing zone out for a moment, and in that moment, I saw her smiling at me. I saw her looking at me from the crowd, her beautiful porcelain skin glistening in the spot light. I clear my throat and look down at my feet, my hands grip the microphone tightly, making my hands go white.

"You ready?" Tommy nudges me gently, once my eyes lock back onto the crowd, she was gone.

I inhaled a sharp breath. "For Zoe."

"Look what he's done to you

It isn't fair

Your light was bright and new

But he didn't care

He took the heart of a little girl

And made it grow up too fast

Now words like "innocence"

Don't mean a thing

You hear the music play

But you can't sing

Those pictures in your mind

Keep you locked up inside your past