maya💔
* tjay came to visit until after grad *
i always said i wouldn't be this girl. i always said if this were to happen to me i would let the world know what's going down. i always said i would be stronger and stand up for myself. i always questioned, wondered, and found trouble understanding why nobody would speak up. but here i am, in this situation. i finally understand why nothing was said, even the strongest women will not own up to this shit. i will tell somebody when the time is right, whether that being tjay, fabiana, my mom, malik or nick, my cousins, or a homeless person on the street. i will tell somebody. i have to, but ion want shit to happen to this nigga like the last time a nigga put his hands on me. i closed up my makeup bag hiding the bruises on my face and legs. they was right, fabiana was warning me this nigga ain't good news. he treats me like shit, but in public he acts like the best boyfriend ever, the nigga i fell for. ion know who i'm with behind closed doors, and i really wish i can just call up tjay, and tell him. but i know the state he in right now. he probably fucking every girl to get over me, and even if i do tell him that this nigga beating on me he gone say some hurtful shit to me talm bout 'you should've stayed with me now a nigga beating you, fuck outta here.' than he gone find this white boy and he finna kill his ass.
so i am going to do some shit i never would have thought i would do, i am not finna tell nobody. the time i got left here in New York imma spend with my family and the best friends i turned my back on, and soon hopefully start talking to tjay again. as much as we fight, as much as i think he don't love me no more, i love that nigga tjay with all my heart and nothing finna change that.
i left the washroom of my boyfriends house going into the living room.
"hey maya!" kyles little sister katie said.
"hey girl, what you doing?" i asked.
"i'm just playing with my dolls. what happened to your face maya?" she asked looking back to play with her toys.
"nothing, ion know what i was doing than next think you know my face turned red." i said shrugging.
"you don't have to lie. it was kyle wasn't it? he does this to all his girlfriends." she said.
"uh, i have a question katie. did he ever hit you?" she looked hesitant to reply, but she motioned me to come towards her.
i crouched down in front of her. "he hit me one time, he was very angry. i had to go to the hospital, my mommy was very mad at him but we found out that he has anger issues & he is bipolar." she said the last part so quiet that i couldn't even make out the words.
before we knew it, he entered the room. "what y'all talking about?" he asked, i stood up laughing it off. "it's a secret."
he touched my back and i flinched so hard, he looked at me weird.
"sorry." i mumbled. he just nodded sitting on the couch.
"i'm finna go home, i haven't been there in time." i said carrying my bag.
"what did i say about talking like that?" i turned back around fast.
"excuse me?" i replied.
"what did i say about talking with that accent?" he asked again.
that nîgga hits me but ion go down without a fight, he really think i'm finna change the way i talk cause he wants me too? this is the reason he hitting me, cause he believes that he can do whatever he pleases, we really be boxing in dis bitch. hence why he gotta black eye.
