I sit on the washroom floor and watch as the blood flows down my arm, from my freshly made cuts. Some say I'm crazy for cutting, that I shouldn't do it because it's bad. But they don't understand, it helps calm me down, it makes me feel alive, it makes the pain go away. And plus, I don't give a shit about what they say. Everyone says girls only struggle. Which really pisses me off, because boys struggle to.
My names Kyle. I'm a seventeen year old teenaged boy. Some call me that emo kid, or that kid. But whatever. At school I never get noticed, everyone hates me. I'm always picked last for whatever the hell we're doing, or I'm constantly pushed around or punched to the ground. When it comes to home, I hate it. My mother left when I was four, and my father, he's a bitch. He always abuses me by either punching me, kicking me, pushing me or calling me names. I guess that's what I get for being the oldest, because when it comes to my younger brother, Steven, he doesn't get in shit. He's always the one goody goody, well to my father. He never gets picked on at school, or abused at home. I fucking hate him for it.
I get up off the floor and walk over to the shower. I turn on the water and let it heat up. When it's warm enough for my liking, I take off my clothes and jump in. Today's Friday. So tomorrow I get to sleep at Ethan's house. YAY!! I won't get abused, and I'll actually get fed. Ethan is my best friend. Well... My only friend. His parents love me, if only they knew that I self harmed, then would they love me. Ethan knows, he's trying his best to help, he really is. And I love him for it, but no matter what no one will be able to help me. No one will be able to make me happy. No one will be able to make me want to stop self harming. Because I deserve the pain I get everyday. I deserve to feel hurt. I deserve to be unhappy. And nothing can change that.
Nothing.
