Right Here Waiting

Facetime Request:

"Hi B! I miss you errday! How's training?" tanong ni Kiefer after I accepted the request.

Im so lucky to have this guy in my life. Ang humble, down to earth. carefree. And I don't wanna lose him, pero gusto kong matupad Ang mga pangrap ko. Once in a lifetime opportunity ang maging international volleyball player. Hay

"Hi B! Okay lang." parang walang buhay kong sabi.

"B, you okay? Parang may sakit ka" puna ni Kiefer

"im okay, pagod lang siguro" Im lying. Kung alam mo lang Kief! Kung alam mo lang

"You better rest na,I know youre tired, catch up soon I guess? I miss you, and I love you from the moon and back" Sabi ni Kiefer

"Thank You for understanding B, bawi ako bukas, okay? Loveyou more!" sabi ko and I hung up the phone.

This issue keeps bothering me for almost 3 days na, Kailangan ko nang mag decisyon, I know I need to sacrifice one. And hindi ko alam, I cry myself to sleep.

-- the folowing day --

"Miks, dito!" tawag ni Kiefer sakin,

I was looking around for him dito sa resto, sabi ko kasi sa kanya mauna na siya kasi may bibilhin lang ako, pero I lied again, pumunta ako nang restroom to compose myself, paano ko sa kanya sasabihin ang decisyon ko.

He doesn't deseve this. He doesn't deserve me.

"B, anong binili mo? Parang wala ka namang bitbit" Kiefer notice as I grab my seat and sat infront of him.

"Ah...eh.. Ano, naubusan ako eh, out of stocks na daw, nevermind that"palusot ko.

He was talking about he's plans. Papasok na kasi siya sa PBA, number 1 siya sa draft, and im proud of him. Alam ko kasing pangrap niyang sundan ang yapak ni tito. Pero habang sinasabi niya yan, hindi ko mapigilang ang naramdaman ko, a tear fell from my eye. Na realize ko na hindi ko na masusubaybayan ang mga importanteng ganap sa buhay niya.

"Hey B, are you crying? May nasabi ba akong masama?" he's face look worried.

Kiefer! I don't want to lose you, pero kailangan kung tuparin ang pangrap ko.

"No, Im too emotional tho. I proud of you, very" I paint a smile on my face

"Woo! Akala ko kung ano na, Thank B! I'll always make you proud" Sabi niya sabay hawak sa kamay ko,

Dumating na ang pagkain, and we started eating, Hay, mamimiss ko to, our random moments, ang mga banat niya. His smile, his laugh, his possesiveness, I'll really miss him beacuse his my everything.

We left the resto, sabi ko punta muna kami nang park, yeah, our secret haven. Undiscovered amg beauty nun eh.

I lay myself to the grass and so he did as well, Tamihik lang kami, until I started the conversation.

"Kief, you know I love you right?"sabi ko while tears are running from my ears .

"Yes, Miks, may problema ba? You can tell me anything, im here to listen" that worried face of him makes me cry more.

"Kief, Im sorry if Im selfish, pero I want to pursue my dreams, at alam mo yan diba? I want to be a international volleyball player, pero I need to sacrifice this, US, mahirap ang long distance relationship. 5 years akong mawawala, sorry if I didn't consult you about this, I don't want to affect your trainings, Im sorry kief! I love you! But I need to chase my dreams" sabi ko habang humahagulgol sa iyak.