Many a times I wonder,
Wondering where is he.
A tear would drip down my face,
Remembering that face i have yet to see.
Too long has it been since I last saw him,
That face of a distant memory.
Oh I wonder how long it would be,
Till the time he returns to me.
Many a times I wonder,
Why did it happen to me.
A wave of anger sets my heart on fire,
Remembering what there is left of he.
So long has he been gone,
Too long for a man that has yet to be.
I wonder why the gods took him,
That brother in my memory.
Many a times I wonder,
What he would have grown to be.
But that wish would never come true,
I would never get to see.
How I long for time to rewind itself,
His horrid death because of me.
Many tell me it is not my fault,
Little do they know, I hate their pity.
Many a times I wonder,
How life would be for he.
If only I could have been the one,
The dead one should have been me.
How I wish that would have happened,
I would do any thing to trade my life for his.
But the accursed gods had other plans,
And took him instead of me.
Many a times I wonder,
What he would want me to be.
I think he would want me to live,
Live without guilt and being carefree.
I wish I would be able to do that,
I wish this guilt would leave me.
But like a heavy stone thrown in water,
I sink deeper and deeper in to the sea.
The sea of guilt, sorrow and pain,
The pits of darkness that grows in me.
But never will I kill myself,
That would have been to easy.
So I continue to live,
Carrying my fear, my sorrow, my misery.
I Will wait till the devil takes my soul,
Because only death can set me free.
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Sudden Sparks of Poetry : my crazy whims of writing
Poetrya collection of poems that comes to my mind anything and everything, written on a whim